Top Ten List

I've been struggling with writer's block, so am following in the foot steps of fellow Ball State alum and rolling out a top ten list of things we're thankful for!  We are always thankful for our family, friends, and love and support we have, so here are some random ones!  

10. Friends, Big Bang Theory, and Sex and the City for always being able to entertain me and crack me up even thought I have seen them all...a lot!
9. Plants vs. Zombies- this one I'm adding for Joe because he plays a lot
8. Podcasts- we both listen to a variety and a lot!
7. Diet Cherry Coke & Mountain Dew...need I say more?! We are cutting back on caffeine though, but these are the fav loaded beverages!
6.  Naps...highlight of summer for Mrs. Jones and the kitties. Sometimes when you're having a bad infertile day you have to remember the little things you CAN do- naps are up there with wine! :)
5.  Buffets...Teppanyaki for Joe, Pizza Hut with Mom for me

4.  I'm a full time special needs preschool teacher!!!  WOOHOO!  I will miss my Allen friends and munchkins, but really feel blessed to make this change!
3.My TSH levels are back up in the range that Dr. Bopp wants them for IVF & Pregnancy.
2. Date nights...we went to Scotty's for dinner, a beverage, and desert! 

and the number one thing we have to be thankful for this week...

being able to see so many of our old friends from DeMolay!  DeMolay played such a major role in our youth and the start of our relationship, it was fun to stroll down memory lane!

So, that's the blog update for this week!  A little random, but if you know me that shouldn't be too surprising!

Love,

Sarah & Joe

Sharing emotions

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4

This was the scripture that started my daily infertility devotional e-mail yesterday.  (Check out www.sarahs-laughter.com)  I had wondered what I’d write about this week since there’s no major update on the IVF front…yesterday’s devotion was about sharing your story in order to help others.  Some of this has probably come up in other blog posts, so if I repeat sorry.

So, here goes…

I can start with our hope and excitement as we decided to try and start our family.  We were married, had jobs, health insurance, and felt it was time to get cracking.  Well, hope and excitement decreased month to month as nothing was happening.  There were books, Google searches, and advices coming from different directions and we were game to try anything.  I should say I was ready to try random things and bless Joe for going with my crazy!

Fast forward to the evil cycles with Clomid, there just isn’t a lot of good to share.  It works for some people, but I would highly recommend three cycles of Clomid and then moving on.  At the Jones’ house, Clomid=Crazy!  It involved my assistant at school wearing three layers to battle the frosty classroom thanks to the hot flashes!  With the Clomid crazy came cycles of hope and disappointment each month.  Throughout the hot flashes, tears, hope, negative pregnancy tests…Joe was always there.  I have read that infertility can make or break couples, and our relationship is definitely stronger and more solid because of the ups and downs we have been through over the past few years.

Sometimes, people say things with good intentions but when you feel like it’s an uphill battle, little things can just hit hard.  “Just relax!”  “Are you sure you’re doing it right?”  “Just adopt, and then you’ll get pregnant.”  “We just look at each other and get pregnant.”  These innocent comments of good hearted friends left me crying when I was by myself or curled up on Joe’s shoulder.  Do I wish people just left me alone and not acknowledged what we were struggling with?  Not all, we would not have gotten this far without our friends and family!  Google dealing with infertility and you will see various articles on things people say without realizing the emotional impact it will have.  Part of the problem is infertility has always been something nobody wanted to talk about, so here I am.  If you know me,  you know that being quiet is not my strong suit. 

Last summer I realized that God had given us infertility for a greater purpose.  We will have our family some day; in His time (not mine as much as I’d like to plan!).  Between now and then, we will continue to share our story and hopefully reach out to other couples facing the same path.  Do I have all the answers?  Heck no!  Am I always at peace and content with infertility?  Nope, infertility sucks some days…when every one around is growing their family, celebrating birthdays, being the “only” couple without kids, etc.  I allow myself a moment to be sad, cry if needed, but not wallow in self pity.  I enjoy a glass of wine, being able to nap whenever my heart desires, and hanging out with the husband.  It’s the little things. 

Why on Earth am I rambling on and on…because I felt called to share my story in an open and honest way.  Hopefully, some one out there may take something away from it or share our blog with someone along a similar path.  There are resources out there and support.  I often go back to the Cade Foundation Banquet where couples shared that their families and friends had no clue what they had been through.  We are so blessed to have supportive family and friends, and hope that we can reach out and help others.  

Love,

Sarah & Joe  

Illinois Race for the Family

We did our first 5K, Joe ran...I walked!

Tinina, Joe, Sarah, Camille, and Jason
(If you don't know the story behind the Cade Foundation, ask- it's awesome)

Friday morning, we ventured north for the Race for the Family.  Joe drove, so I kicked back and read Pretty Little Liars (very intellectually stimulating material) and let him deal with driving around Chicago.  We checked in at our room and then headed to packet pick up, where I had volunteered us for the evening.  We hung out, passed out packets and shirts, and visited with everyone volunteering.  As of Friday night, there were 208 registered to be on the course for the Race.  I was able to meet Julie from the Infertility Awareness page on Facebook who signed up for the Race with her daughter.    After helping pack up everything, we headed to Chipotle for dinner and then back to crash for the night.
Saturday morning came quickly and we headed to Deer Grove Forest East to help set up for the Race.  I'm really not sure how many registered on Saturday morning, but there were people everywhere!  Yellow shirt volunteers, green shirt Race sponsors, and purple shirt race participants.  We rocked our yellow shirt while setting up, but then changed to our purple one!  Joe lined up with the runners, and they were off.  Walkers followed a minute or so behind, so I geared up my playlist, and started out.  I've been walking so I was ready to rock and roll.  While I was walking, it hit me how blessed we truly are by the Cade Foundation.  Granted, we haven't done our IVF cycle yet...but it was an emotional event to stop and process all the people there to help people like us overcome infertility.  As I looked ahead and behind me, there were purple shirts, strollers, doctors, nurses, couples still in their journey, and those who have overcome infertility...everyone together for a common cause.  
Joe finished the race in forty minutes, and I came in about fifty four.  While Joe recovered, I explored Savannah's Playground with Audrey and Cole.  After helping with clean up and saying our good byes, we headed to Crown Point for the night.  Before heading home on Sunday, we had a visit at the park with Joy, Jack, and Kate.  It was nice to get some family time in addition to our Cade Family time!
We are already looking forward to the Race for the Family next year!  We did find out the recipient of the Savannah's Grant is eight weeks along.  Savannah's mommy Lisa is 17 weeks along!!
A little bit about Savannah's Playground and Grant:
Savannah’s Playground is an area at our Race for the Family events where children and their parents/caregivers can play, take part in age-grouped Toddler Trots, listen to live acoustic children’s music with talented local and national artists, and learn about child safety. These playground events honor the memory and legacy of Savannah Caroline Pereira – a happy, beautiful baby girl conceived in love with the help of infertility assistance. Savannah loved to play, listen to and make music, read books, interact with her parents and caregivers. Savannah died in 2010 at 10 months of age in a tragic accident. To honor her and bless other families struggling with infertility, her parents, Lisa Rushton and Charley Pereira, established Savannah’s Memorial Fund with the Cade Foundation. Savannah’s Memorial Fund provides an annual grant to couples trying to conceive their first child so that they may have an opportunity, which might not otherwise be possible, to experience the joys of parenthood.

All in all, we had a great weekend trip with our Cade Family! We look forward to overcoming infertility ourselves and continuing to do education and outreach to help other couples. Support is out there if you or someone you know is struggling! Please let us know if we can help or be of assistance. Also, in addition to the Cade Foundation check out Fertility Centers of Illinois. Dr. Eve Feinberg from FCI is amazing! Not only did does she make little miracles, she ran the race, worked packet pick up, and came up with the cutest "Just Did It" t-shirts.  I'm hoping there will be a good picture up on the Cade site!
Special thanks to Craig, Audrey, & Cole for making the trip up from Muncie, too!  Thanks Buzz and Linda for donating to Indiana Jones!
Thanks to everyone for the love and support!
Joe and Sarah

Packet Pick Up on Friday

Registration

Joe ran the 5K.

The runners

Awards

Cole enjoying Savannah's Playground

Team Indiana Jones

School’s out for summer!  Woohoo! 

Indiana Jones-

That’s what you get when I have to name our team for Race for the Family!  If you’d like to support our team, which includes us, Craig, Audrey, and Cole, you can do so online…

https://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/eras3/illraceforthefamily

If you are going to be in the Chicago area on Saturday, it’s not too late to sign up!  Go to www.ilraceforthefamily.com.

Thursday, June 7 I met with Dr. Bopp for my post-op consultation.  We reviewed how surgery went, that there more polyps then he’d originally thought so it was a good thing we did the surgery.   Nurse Allison was awesome to get me total cost for meds to help us budget.  My concern was how the cost of surgery was going to impact my HSA, which according to MY plan was going to be what we could use for meds.  Well, they say if you want to make God laugh tell Him your plans.  I’m sure He gets a chuckle thanks to me having a set plan and thinking it’s going to go my way.  The business office came in to review our budget without ICSI, so I left knowing a concrete number for out of pocket expense.  After a minor meltdown in the car and accepting the fact that I have to let it go and know that our IVF will happen when it’s meant to!  Faith in God includes faith in His timing, but surely He understands that sometimes that is easier said than done.  I did have to call Joe and tell him I need to listen to him more, because all along he’s said not to have a set time frame in my head so I wouldn’t get disappointed.  Oops, didn’t listen and he was right…ugh, hate to admit that!  Before I left, they checked my TSH just to make sure it was still in the ideal range.  Good ol’ Allison called to say they were decreasing my dosage because my TSH was too low.  (A few people asked how I was losing weight…that’s one perk to a low TSH, now I just need to keep it off!)  We will recheck in four weeks to see if it’s back up.

So, there are still days when I struggle with the emotional ups and downs that follow us along our journey.  It’s important to remember we are so blessed to have been selected to receive the grant, we have a doctor and nurse who are supportive and do everything we need to increase our chances, our friends and family are amazing, and Joe Jones is a pretty terrific husband!  

In the words of Carrie Bradshaw, "Eventually all the pieces fall into place...until then laugh  at the confusion, live for the moment, and know that everything happens for a reason."

As always, we are so thankful for the prayers, support, and encouragement!

Sarah & Joe

It is well...

Peace like a river wouldn't be the first phrase I'd think of when thinking about infertility, it fits at times.  Sorrows are far too common when overcoming infertility.  Last week this hymn came to me twice, after some praying and thinking so I figured it was God's way of showing me I'm on track.
Tuesday I submitted the official request for transferring to preschool full time.  Tuesday night, we received tragic news that my sweet "sister" Lauren's wonderful dad had passed away.  We are truly blessed to have known Jim through Job's Daughters and DeMolay.  Lauren became my adopted little sister and 1999 and her whole family is just awesome.  Keep them in your prayers!
Wednesday morning, I got an e-mail that there was an issue with my license so we were going to have to do some work to get me to full time.  I was disappointed, but as I e-mailed and talked to people I started to wonder if I was doing what would be best for me and my munchkins.  Thursday morning, Steph woke up singing It Is Well and so I was singing it to myself all day!  Thanks to Steph for the reminder!  A hymn, good friends, and Ivanhoe's....great way to spend a day!
Friday, I sent another e-mail saying that I would be okay staying in my current position...half preschool and half resource at Allen.  A peace had come over me that maybe staying half and half another year was what would be best for my munchkins and for myself.  If we were to do IVF after school started, that would mean a lot of monitoring appointments that would be out in the morning, which wouldn't be fair to little ones that have special needs to be in and out.  My big munchkins are flexible and Mrs. Lada (my assistant) rocks, so I know if I have to get a sub the Allen crew would be okay.
Saturday, I drove north to be with my Job's Daughters family to say goodbye and honor a wonderful man.  Jim Bailey will be truly missed, but I know he's another angel looking down on us!  Please keep Lauren and her family in your thoughts and prayers!  It was nice to see some of my Job's Daughters friends, but would rather see them under different circumstances.  Love and prayers to the Baileys!
Today I spoke with June, our director, about next year.  We talked about IVF and what the next year may entail, and I told her I was really okay either way.  So, as of today next year I will be between Allen and Special Needs Preschool again.  It really is well with my soul that I'm doing what will be best for me and for the munchkins that I teach!  Another bit of peace came when I received an e-mail from Dr. Camille Hammond and Heidi from the Cade Foundation that not needing ICSI is a non-issue.  Woohoo, this is such a huge blessing...well more than just one blessing!  This removes a portion of our out of pocket cost.  It will bring us one step closer to our IVF cycle!

We hope that you will join us in Chicago for the Illinois Race for the Family!  We are so excited to participate and help give back to the Cade Foundation who has truly blessed us.  Please check it out at http://www.illraceforthefamily.com/!  If you can't join us or participate, please let me know if you want to make a donation!  


Have a wonderful week, tomorrow is my last official contract day!  Woohoo!  
Love,
Sarah & Joe

Worries and blessings

Hysteroscopy was Monday and that went well...I didn't remember updating the blog Monday  night!  Oops.  Tuesday I was home to rest and recover, which meant the DVR, the couch, and the kitties.  I was beginning to worry about how the cost of the surgery was going to impact our make a baby budget.  We no longer have the rock star coverage, so there will be some expenses on our end.  I just was sad, and figured all I could do was pray for peace about it and that I would remember the whole not being anxious about anything.  Wednesday I was back with my munchkins and the craziness of the end of the school year.  By the end of the day, I was beat but I did love the fact they missed Jones for two days!  
Thursday morning I woke up feeling a little more relaxed.  Joe called Dr. Bopp because we hadn't heard anything about his tests.  At one point in the morning, I realized I had a voice mail from Midwest so I zipped to check it.  Wonderful news, things are in the normal range for Joe!  Dr. Bopp feels that with the updated results, we will not need to do ICSI that they will let our stuff fertilize itself...and that saves us about $1300!  It was a definite answer to prayer and a reminder about having faith!  We will have to meet with Dr. Bopp and talk to the Cade Foundation about definite costs for our IVF cycle with this great news.  
Friday morning came with another voice mail from Allison....this one was to report that the pathology report on the polyps came clear.  No cancer!  They weren't too concerned, but they test everything they remove just to be safe.  We ended the week with blessings to be thankful for without a doubt!  Back to Dr. Bopp on June 7 for post-op check in.  In the mean time, we just are thankful for good results and improvements!  
On a side note, Go New Jersey Devils!  Joe has introduced me to the hockey playoffs, and I must say it's pretty fun.  There's a lot of rules that I don't quite get, but Joe is kind enough to relate it to football and things I relate to....anyways, Go Devils!
Five more student days, only three at preschool!  :(  June 5th is the last official contract day, but there are two classrooms to close up this year.  
Thanks to everyone for the thoughts, prayers, and encouragement this week!  It was a week of ups and downs, but this the life of an infertile couple.  We are thankful for great news and look forward to moving ahead!
Love,
Sarah & Joe

Thanks for the prayers and love!

I appreciate all the love and prayers from our friends and family today!

Our journey moved ahead a little more today.  I had my surgery to get rid of the polyps Dr. Bopp found last month.  After making sure things were ready to go for my munchkins, I got to focus on no food or drink after midnight!  Joe, being the awesome husband that he is, suffered without food and drink with me.  He rocks!  We had a pre-op with Dr. Bopp at ten, just to touch base and go over everything.  Since surgery wasn't until one, we got to hang out in the surgery center waiting area for a bit.  (They have a TV, Midwest doesn't.)  I'm really not sure what we did before smart phones to keep occupied in waiting rooms.  Once I got called back, my phone was under my hospital bed and I was having some withdraw!  The nurse was kind enough to let me wear my Colts socks instead of the itchy ones they offered.  After what seemed like eternity, Dr. Bopp came and they wheeled me back.  Joe went up to Midwest while I was out.  Good ol' Dr. Bopp told me to think of a warm vacation spot, they gave me oxygen, and that was that!  Next thing I remember was sipping a diet coke.  :)  We have some nice colored pics of before and after...guessing nobody will line up to see those!  Dr. Bopp said there were a few more polyps than originally thought, but he cleaned house and we are good to go.  He is sending them off to pathology, just to to check.  So, now we just wait for Joe's count update and then it's just a matter of paying our share of the IVF expense.  

Dr. Bopp just called to check in on me, I really appreciated that!  He said he's glad we did the procedure since there were more polyps than we thought and my lining is good to go!

Looking ahead, be sure to join us for the Cade Foundation Race for the Family on June 23 in Chicago.  If you can't join us, but would like to support the Cade Foundation let me know!

So, now it's time just to rest and relax.  Not heading back to the munchkins until Wednesday, so it's the kitties, the DVR, and I until then!