Rambles from Sarah

We are finally moving ahead with the IVF.  It seems as though we've been waiting forever, but Tuesday marked the one year anniversary of us receiving the phone call that we received the Cade grant.  God blessed us with the Cade Foundation and this past week, He answered another prayer that helped us be able to move ahead! We have an amazing support system in our family and friends, it has helped keep us going along the way.  Being part of the Cade Foundation also provides us with a built in support system!  When I e-mailed Camille and Heidi, they both sent me a sweet, supportive note of encouragement as we move ahead.  While we haven't been in treatment, we have been part of the Cade Foundation family for the past year!    

Joe and I have to get some infectious disease bloodwork done, Joe beat me to the punch by getting it done today.  Dr. Bopp was in Africa on a mission trip (how awesome is that?!), so I just found out today that we will do another saline ultrasound to ensure my uterus is still prime real estate for our embryos.  One day in October, I will head down to Bopp for the ultrasound and to learn how to do the different injections.  The needles scare me a little more than the ultrasound! Come November, we will be rocking and rolling IVF style!   
On a side note, Joe and I were able to go the Colts game last Sunday with his dad.  It was a beautiful day for football with the roof open.  Football is always a fun event together, unless it's fantasy football...that's a whole different story!  
Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we move forward!  We are so thankful for our friends and family!
Love,
Sarah & Joe

Back to life, back to reality

Wow, it's been almost a month since I've written!  What's been going on....just back to school crazy!  It's an adjustment getting back into the routine, but while I miss naps I do enjoy having a regular schedule.  Life in preschool is awesome, it's tiring but totally rocks!  I miss seeing my Allen family every day, but am so blessed to have the opportunity to work with the little munchkins all the time.  Teaching is a crazy, stressful, and rewarding profession...preschool has released a lot of stress from my shoulders.  The first day of school when I left, I was overcome with a sense of relief and peace.  While I loved teaching at Allen, God knew a little less stress would be more friendly for making a baby!  What's new on the baby front?  Not a lot, we still haven't started our cycle and to be honest there are days when that may bum me out a bit.  I'm a little emotionally high maintenance, but Joe maintains me pretty well!  :)  He's always the voice of reason when I get a little emotional...we are going to do our IVF, we have the year to use the grant, I needed to have the surgery to have a prime spot for our embryos, etc.  To keep balanced in all ways, I've started going to church regularly with mom and started doing a Zumba class twice/week.  
Last night at church, this was the verse that smacked me in the head...
Proverbs 16:9 The Message (MSG)
We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it.

Yup, God said, "Sarah Elizabeth, chill out!  I've got the plan!"  Granted, that was just the gist I took away from the verse and sermon about God guiding us!  Another bullet point, Don't Hurry!  Jeremiah 29:11 was also quoted.  It was one of the moments where I was reminded that there is a greater plan for us, and my time frame isn't the one that matters.  We've been dealt infertility for a purpose.  It's brought us together through the ups and downs.  We've been able to reach out to other couples facing the same battles.  It's also blessed us with the Cade Foundation, which brought us the opportunity to do the IVF cycle this year and gave us another family of support.

Everyone will know when things are rolling, it's not like I'm ever quiet about anything!  In the mean time, just continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we prepare to take that next step.  I'll close with this song from Kutless, What Faith Can Do.  Pandora whacked me in the head with that song one day when I was kind of down.

Have a wonderful week!

Love,

Sarah (and Joe)

Reflecting on Job and Job’s

Job's Daughters logo from my day

Today was my first Job’s Daughters meeting in quite some time!  While it makes me feel old to think I saw my friend’s daughter get initiated, it was still a great afternoon.  As I sat there listening to the story of Job, I made some new connections.  Looking back, Job’s Daughters taught me the importance of faith and patience, especially when overcoming adversity.  While our adversity is not really the same as Job’s, listening to his story today I could relate it a lot to our journey.  When you start trying to get pregnant, all seems right with the world and you are full hope.  I’d be lying if I said I never lost faith or got angry with God, but through the time we’ve spent on the infertility road I’ve been able to move past that.  Granted, some days I still get a little frustrated and go “REALLY?!”  but just like Job we are going to overcome and in the end we will have our own reward.  I could not begin to count how many times I have heard the story of Job, and find it pretty awesome that after 21 years of hearing it I’m still growing and learning! 

DeMolay

DeMolay Sweetheart

For those of you who haven’t been around us since our start, Job’s Daughters is the Masonic Organization for girls.  It dawned on me that I could use a flow map to write my blog this week, but I won’t!  One night Moe came home from Lodge and shared he put my name down for something.  Poor Moe had no clue what I was about to dive into!  J  Job’s Daughters was my primary activity out of school.  In 1996, I branched out to DeMolay Sweetheart on top of Job’s.  Chapter Sweetheart led to State Sweetheart which led to Joe Jones! J  (There’s where I could have used the flow map!)  Between DeMolay and Job’s Daughters, there was always something going to do.  In 1999, I went to the Miss Indiana Job’s Daughter pageant and became Miss Congeniality.  That started another year of travels and friendships thanks to Job’s Daughters.  When looking at pictures from the wedding, it’s clear the impact Job’s and DeMolay had on us!  We have been blessed with so many good friends and really appreciate our memories from our Masonic Youth days.    

          There are so many good memories of our travels, friends, and occasional mischief from our Job’s and DeMolay days!  Today, I was just blessed to be reminded of them and how I can use those lessons learned and apply them to our infertility journey!  Patience is the main virtue I will continue to work on until we start our IVF cycle.  Faith is another big one!  

Have a wonderful week!

Love, Sarah & Joe

Top Ten List

I've been struggling with writer's block, so am following in the foot steps of fellow Ball State alum and rolling out a top ten list of things we're thankful for!  We are always thankful for our family, friends, and love and support we have, so here are some random ones!  

10. Friends, Big Bang Theory, and Sex and the City for always being able to entertain me and crack me up even thought I have seen them all...a lot!
9. Plants vs. Zombies- this one I'm adding for Joe because he plays a lot
8. Podcasts- we both listen to a variety and a lot!
7. Diet Cherry Coke & Mountain Dew...need I say more?! We are cutting back on caffeine though, but these are the fav loaded beverages!
6.  Naps...highlight of summer for Mrs. Jones and the kitties. Sometimes when you're having a bad infertile day you have to remember the little things you CAN do- naps are up there with wine! :)
5.  Buffets...Teppanyaki for Joe, Pizza Hut with Mom for me

4.  I'm a full time special needs preschool teacher!!!  WOOHOO!  I will miss my Allen friends and munchkins, but really feel blessed to make this change!
3.My TSH levels are back up in the range that Dr. Bopp wants them for IVF & Pregnancy.
2. Date nights...we went to Scotty's for dinner, a beverage, and desert! 

and the number one thing we have to be thankful for this week...

being able to see so many of our old friends from DeMolay!  DeMolay played such a major role in our youth and the start of our relationship, it was fun to stroll down memory lane!

So, that's the blog update for this week!  A little random, but if you know me that shouldn't be too surprising!

Love,

Sarah & Joe

Sharing emotions

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4

This was the scripture that started my daily infertility devotional e-mail yesterday.  (Check out www.sarahs-laughter.com)  I had wondered what I’d write about this week since there’s no major update on the IVF front…yesterday’s devotion was about sharing your story in order to help others.  Some of this has probably come up in other blog posts, so if I repeat sorry.

So, here goes…

I can start with our hope and excitement as we decided to try and start our family.  We were married, had jobs, health insurance, and felt it was time to get cracking.  Well, hope and excitement decreased month to month as nothing was happening.  There were books, Google searches, and advices coming from different directions and we were game to try anything.  I should say I was ready to try random things and bless Joe for going with my crazy!

Fast forward to the evil cycles with Clomid, there just isn’t a lot of good to share.  It works for some people, but I would highly recommend three cycles of Clomid and then moving on.  At the Jones’ house, Clomid=Crazy!  It involved my assistant at school wearing three layers to battle the frosty classroom thanks to the hot flashes!  With the Clomid crazy came cycles of hope and disappointment each month.  Throughout the hot flashes, tears, hope, negative pregnancy tests…Joe was always there.  I have read that infertility can make or break couples, and our relationship is definitely stronger and more solid because of the ups and downs we have been through over the past few years.

Sometimes, people say things with good intentions but when you feel like it’s an uphill battle, little things can just hit hard.  “Just relax!”  “Are you sure you’re doing it right?”  “Just adopt, and then you’ll get pregnant.”  “We just look at each other and get pregnant.”  These innocent comments of good hearted friends left me crying when I was by myself or curled up on Joe’s shoulder.  Do I wish people just left me alone and not acknowledged what we were struggling with?  Not all, we would not have gotten this far without our friends and family!  Google dealing with infertility and you will see various articles on things people say without realizing the emotional impact it will have.  Part of the problem is infertility has always been something nobody wanted to talk about, so here I am.  If you know me,  you know that being quiet is not my strong suit. 

Last summer I realized that God had given us infertility for a greater purpose.  We will have our family some day; in His time (not mine as much as I’d like to plan!).  Between now and then, we will continue to share our story and hopefully reach out to other couples facing the same path.  Do I have all the answers?  Heck no!  Am I always at peace and content with infertility?  Nope, infertility sucks some days…when every one around is growing their family, celebrating birthdays, being the “only” couple without kids, etc.  I allow myself a moment to be sad, cry if needed, but not wallow in self pity.  I enjoy a glass of wine, being able to nap whenever my heart desires, and hanging out with the husband.  It’s the little things. 

Why on Earth am I rambling on and on…because I felt called to share my story in an open and honest way.  Hopefully, some one out there may take something away from it or share our blog with someone along a similar path.  There are resources out there and support.  I often go back to the Cade Foundation Banquet where couples shared that their families and friends had no clue what they had been through.  We are so blessed to have supportive family and friends, and hope that we can reach out and help others.  

Love,

Sarah & Joe  

Illinois Race for the Family

We did our first 5K, Joe ran...I walked!

Tinina, Joe, Sarah, Camille, and Jason
(If you don't know the story behind the Cade Foundation, ask- it's awesome)

Friday morning, we ventured north for the Race for the Family.  Joe drove, so I kicked back and read Pretty Little Liars (very intellectually stimulating material) and let him deal with driving around Chicago.  We checked in at our room and then headed to packet pick up, where I had volunteered us for the evening.  We hung out, passed out packets and shirts, and visited with everyone volunteering.  As of Friday night, there were 208 registered to be on the course for the Race.  I was able to meet Julie from the Infertility Awareness page on Facebook who signed up for the Race with her daughter.    After helping pack up everything, we headed to Chipotle for dinner and then back to crash for the night.
Saturday morning came quickly and we headed to Deer Grove Forest East to help set up for the Race.  I'm really not sure how many registered on Saturday morning, but there were people everywhere!  Yellow shirt volunteers, green shirt Race sponsors, and purple shirt race participants.  We rocked our yellow shirt while setting up, but then changed to our purple one!  Joe lined up with the runners, and they were off.  Walkers followed a minute or so behind, so I geared up my playlist, and started out.  I've been walking so I was ready to rock and roll.  While I was walking, it hit me how blessed we truly are by the Cade Foundation.  Granted, we haven't done our IVF cycle yet...but it was an emotional event to stop and process all the people there to help people like us overcome infertility.  As I looked ahead and behind me, there were purple shirts, strollers, doctors, nurses, couples still in their journey, and those who have overcome infertility...everyone together for a common cause.  
Joe finished the race in forty minutes, and I came in about fifty four.  While Joe recovered, I explored Savannah's Playground with Audrey and Cole.  After helping with clean up and saying our good byes, we headed to Crown Point for the night.  Before heading home on Sunday, we had a visit at the park with Joy, Jack, and Kate.  It was nice to get some family time in addition to our Cade Family time!
We are already looking forward to the Race for the Family next year!  We did find out the recipient of the Savannah's Grant is eight weeks along.  Savannah's mommy Lisa is 17 weeks along!!
A little bit about Savannah's Playground and Grant:
Savannah’s Playground is an area at our Race for the Family events where children and their parents/caregivers can play, take part in age-grouped Toddler Trots, listen to live acoustic children’s music with talented local and national artists, and learn about child safety. These playground events honor the memory and legacy of Savannah Caroline Pereira – a happy, beautiful baby girl conceived in love with the help of infertility assistance. Savannah loved to play, listen to and make music, read books, interact with her parents and caregivers. Savannah died in 2010 at 10 months of age in a tragic accident. To honor her and bless other families struggling with infertility, her parents, Lisa Rushton and Charley Pereira, established Savannah’s Memorial Fund with the Cade Foundation. Savannah’s Memorial Fund provides an annual grant to couples trying to conceive their first child so that they may have an opportunity, which might not otherwise be possible, to experience the joys of parenthood.

All in all, we had a great weekend trip with our Cade Family! We look forward to overcoming infertility ourselves and continuing to do education and outreach to help other couples. Support is out there if you or someone you know is struggling! Please let us know if we can help or be of assistance. Also, in addition to the Cade Foundation check out Fertility Centers of Illinois. Dr. Eve Feinberg from FCI is amazing! Not only did does she make little miracles, she ran the race, worked packet pick up, and came up with the cutest "Just Did It" t-shirts.  I'm hoping there will be a good picture up on the Cade site!
Special thanks to Craig, Audrey, & Cole for making the trip up from Muncie, too!  Thanks Buzz and Linda for donating to Indiana Jones!
Thanks to everyone for the love and support!
Joe and Sarah

Packet Pick Up on Friday

Registration

Joe ran the 5K.

The runners

Awards

Cole enjoying Savannah's Playground

Team Indiana Jones

School’s out for summer!  Woohoo! 

Indiana Jones-

That’s what you get when I have to name our team for Race for the Family!  If you’d like to support our team, which includes us, Craig, Audrey, and Cole, you can do so online…

https://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/eras3/illraceforthefamily

If you are going to be in the Chicago area on Saturday, it’s not too late to sign up!  Go to www.ilraceforthefamily.com.

Thursday, June 7 I met with Dr. Bopp for my post-op consultation.  We reviewed how surgery went, that there more polyps then he’d originally thought so it was a good thing we did the surgery.   Nurse Allison was awesome to get me total cost for meds to help us budget.  My concern was how the cost of surgery was going to impact my HSA, which according to MY plan was going to be what we could use for meds.  Well, they say if you want to make God laugh tell Him your plans.  I’m sure He gets a chuckle thanks to me having a set plan and thinking it’s going to go my way.  The business office came in to review our budget without ICSI, so I left knowing a concrete number for out of pocket expense.  After a minor meltdown in the car and accepting the fact that I have to let it go and know that our IVF will happen when it’s meant to!  Faith in God includes faith in His timing, but surely He understands that sometimes that is easier said than done.  I did have to call Joe and tell him I need to listen to him more, because all along he’s said not to have a set time frame in my head so I wouldn’t get disappointed.  Oops, didn’t listen and he was right…ugh, hate to admit that!  Before I left, they checked my TSH just to make sure it was still in the ideal range.  Good ol’ Allison called to say they were decreasing my dosage because my TSH was too low.  (A few people asked how I was losing weight…that’s one perk to a low TSH, now I just need to keep it off!)  We will recheck in four weeks to see if it’s back up.

So, there are still days when I struggle with the emotional ups and downs that follow us along our journey.  It’s important to remember we are so blessed to have been selected to receive the grant, we have a doctor and nurse who are supportive and do everything we need to increase our chances, our friends and family are amazing, and Joe Jones is a pretty terrific husband!  

In the words of Carrie Bradshaw, "Eventually all the pieces fall into place...until then laugh  at the confusion, live for the moment, and know that everything happens for a reason."

As always, we are so thankful for the prayers, support, and encouragement!

Sarah & Joe