Stepping into spring

What’s up with the Jones’?! Spring is here which brought spring break, yeah! We have also started walking to get ready for the Cade Foundation Race for the Family in June and to be healthier as we embark on IVF! (Please go to http://www.illraceforthefamily.com/ to sign up and join us!)

As April approaches, we will look forward (not sure that’s the word I want, but you know what I mean) to some pre-IVF stuff. I will have an ultrasound to make sure my tubes and uterus are still clear and ready to rock. We will also have to update Joe’s tests. Please pray that we are able to get my ultrasound scheduled so that it won’t cause me extra stress because it will be around ISTEP time!

While we look ahead it’s exciting and a little scary, we just have to forge ahead and have faith that things are going to fall into place. While I have a plan in my mind, we’ll see if it is what God has planned for us. Some days that’s easier than others.

I’ve spent this lazy Saturday watching a marathon of Giuliana and Bill. It’s an emotional reminder of all the ups and downs fertility treatment brings, and the importance of growing together as we endure it.

I need to take a minute to reflect with something I found on a blog I came across: http://mrssneakers.blogspot.com. (Just going to copy and paste)
The author is unknown, but the words felt like they came straight from my heart. God did choose us for a reason. Yes, the pain of Infertility hurts, but we are called for a higher purpose.

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.14 I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile." Jeremiah 29:11-14

What do I think God meant when He gave me Infertility?

I think He meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. 

I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time Infertility knocks us down.

I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols.

I think God meant for us to find a cure for fertility. 

No, God never meant for me to not have children.

That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on.

I've been placed on the road less traveled, and like it or not, I'm a better person for it.

Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let Him down.

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God singled me out for special treatment. 

I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.

While I would never have chosen Infertility, I cannot deny that a fertile woman could ever experience the joy that I know awaits me.

Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own.

And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice, I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when He handed me Infertility. I already know.”

When we were just a year into trying to start a family, there was no way I could have told you there was a purpose in what we were dealing with.  As the years have gone by and we have laughed, cried, and hoped together I slowly came to see that what we were going through was making us stronger.  Receiving the Cade Grant just solidified that, it will allow us to try IVF and give us an opportunity to share our story and reach out to other couples.

As always, thanks to our family and friends for their continued love, support, and prayers as we continue along our journey. Please continue to pray for me to remain calm and know that things will fall into place as they should and pray for Joe as he deals with me…not just IVF stuff, we’ve got ISTEP again and the end of the school year chaos!

Sarah & Joe

Sarah's Laughter

For a year or two, I've subscribed to Daily Double Portions from Sarah's Laughter, a devotional directed at those dealing with infertility.  I love having a daily e-mail devotional that directly speaks to me.  Our devotional yesterday was written for friends and family, so I decided to share it here!  Infertility is an emotional journey, and we are very thankful for such supportive friends and family. If you or someone you know is dealing with infertility, I highly recommend they check out www.sarahs-laughter.com.    

What Can I Do To Help?
Practical Advice for Friends and Family

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
Nevertheless, you have done well to share with me in my affliction.
Philippians 4:13-14

If you are the one struggling with infertility, guess what! Today’s Daily Double Portion is not for you! Please print this copy out, hand it to the nearest friend or family member, turn your computer off and patiently wait until tomorrow for your next Daily Double Portion!

If you love someone who is carrying the heavy load of unplanned “un-pregnancy”, you may find it difficult to know how to offer support for their struggle. They definitely need your encouragement, but it is sometimes so difficult for friends and family to know how to offer the support. As we struggle with infertility, our relationships with friends and family are undeniably touched. Those who conceive easily may have difficulty truly understanding the struggle an infertile couple faces every single day. In our effort to offer support for those who struggle, we submit these suggestions for ways that friends and family can offer their own support to those they love. These are simple, practical ways to show your love and support. If Sarah’s Laughter can help you in any way, please feel free to contact us at any time.

What to Say...

I’m so sorry.
I’m praying for you. (Only say this if you really will pray!)
How would you like me to pray for you? (Join in agreement with them in prayer. Don’t assume you know what they’re praying for. They may be praying for something that seems totally off the wall to you. You don’t have to understand why certain things are important. It may be important for your friend to not be invited to her cousin’s shower, or to be called into work on what should have been her due date. When you validate their feelings by praying in agreement with them, it can be a beautifully healing thing.)
I’m here if you need to talk. (Then don’t be afraid of what they may say. Don’t be offended if they don’t want to talk. Being available to them as a sounding board is priceless.)

What NOT to say...

Relax, honey. It will happen. (This minimizes the hurt the couple is feeling. Also, sometimes it doesn’t happen.)
You’re so lucky not to be tied down with kids. You can go on vacation any time you want.
At least...you were only a few weeks along, At least...you have one child. At least...you have time with just the two of you. (A good rule of thumb is--if you start a sentence with “at least” it’s probably the wrong thing to say!)
So whose fault is it--yours or his? (Infertility is not an issue of fault. It is a medical condition that carries a heavy emotional and spiritual burden. This is an intensely personal battle. If they want--or need--to share personal, medical information with you, let them. It’s really quite an honor to be trusted with such vulnerable information. If they don’t want to share, please don’t ask.)
You can always have another baby. (Unfortunately, many who experience infertility also experience loss. Even if they are blessed with a houseful of other children, they still grieve the baby they’ve lost. They love this baby. They want this baby.
I know how you feel. (No, you don’t. Even if you suffered with infertility or miscarriage, you cannot know exactly how this person feels. You may have a good idea based on your own experience, but not the specifics of this situation.)
Don’t cry. It’ll be okay. (Let them cry. Let them cry with you or on you. Just let them cry.)

Be Sensitive...

Infertility and loss are excruciating experiences which tend to be extremely private. If someone dares to trust in you and shares these experiences with you, take their hurt very seriously even if you cannot relate to their pain. Maintain their confidence. If someone else questions you about your friend’s childlessness, keep the information to yourself. Even when others ask out of concern, remember the intimacy of this situation. If and when your friend wants to share with others, she will--just as she shared with you.
Don’t ask infertile women or mothers who have miscarried to pass out gifts on Mother’s Day, host baby showers, etc. These are excruciating events for those who struggle.
Realize that the grief an infertile couple carries begins anew approximately every 28 days.
Don’t panic if the couple “emotionally vomits” on you. Don’t cringe if they start talking about sperm counts or post-coital tests. Your support can be life giving to someone who feels like they are going to collapse under the weight of an empty cradle.
Don’t be afraid of anger. Hurting people tend to lash out. If they are angry at their spouse, their doctor, their baby, their body or even at God, let them vent.
Give hurting couples an “out” on Mother’s Day/Father’s Day, on days when you have a baby dedication at church, for baby showers, etc. Let them know about the dedication in advance if you are comfortable doing so, so that they can decide if they want to attend that Sunday. These are hard events to attend. Don’t criticize if they do not attend. However, follow up with them if they miss more than just the difficult days or if they are pulling away too much.
Let them know you care. However it works for you and those you care for, just let them know you care.

As Philippians 4:13-14 says, we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength, but it is so good of you to share with your infertile friends/family in their trouble. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for caring for hurting people and making such a wonderful effort to ease the pain of unintentional childlessness.

(c) 2012 Sarah’s Laughter-Christian Support for Infertility & Child Loss


Submit a prayer request or join the Sarah's Laughter Prayer Team at

Requests@Sarahs-Laughter.com

To unsubscribe from Daily Double Portions, send an email to ddp@sarahs-laughter.com with “unsubscribe” in the subject line.
Follow us on Twitter: http://twitter.com/sarahs_laught

Sunshine and Grief

I hope everyone has enjoyed the sunshine and beautiful weather!  


Last Sunday, this country mouse was heading home and recovering from venturing out in the city! However, I did have a blast with PJ and the girls for her bachelorette party! It was a much needed evening of fun after ISTEP with the munchkins. While I was off enjoying a night out, Joe and Garrett were being productive at the house. Since our fire place didn’t work, Joe and Garrett demolished it and cleared it out. The boys were super productive and finished the job before I got back! 

Of course, if I had written about anything last week it would have been about Jim Irsay just breaking my heart!  I was starting to deal with the grief of losing Peyton, and then he cuts everyone else.  Ugh, a sad week in the life of a Colts' fan! (especially during ISTEP and a full moon)  While I will still cheer for the boys in blue, I must say my heart will follow Peyton where he lands!  Plus, I have too much Colts gear and decor to jump ship!  These pics are from the summer I stalked the team at training camp and got our jerseys signed!


Thursday night we had our Cade Foundation Fertili-Wine in Noblesville. While we were hoping for more people, we had a great turnout and raised some money for the Family Building Grant. It’s really exciting to be able to start giving back! I met some new girls who have been through fertility treatment or are going through treatment now. I always appreciate talking to others who have been down the infertility road to hear their experiences as well as share our story thus far with others. If you weren’t able to attend but would like to make a donation to the Cade Foundation, go to www.cadefoundation.org and click on donate. Every little bit helps and will be used for other families overcoming infertility! Thanks to those that came out to support us!


If you or someone you know is struggling with infertility, please share this information with them! April 24, the Indiana Collaboration for Families with Infertility is hosting a fertility fair! I am looking forward to joining Stacie in representing the Cade Foundation after school that day! Check out http://myicfi.org/fertility-fair/ for more info!


There’s really not much else to report from the Jones’ front! I just did my thyroid level labs again on Saturday, so we’ll see if my TSH is still where Dr. Bopp wants it for IVF. Next month, we will move ahead with some testing! Dr. Bopp wants an ultrasound to make sure all is well in my uterus, and we need to update Joe’s count. (I started to apologize for TMI, but I’m guessing if you are reading this you know what you’re in for!)


Have a wonderful week! Thanks as always for the support, love, and prayers! Keep them coming.
Sarah & Joe

Oh, The Places You'll Go!

In honor of Dr. Seuss, a quote from him to jump start our blog entry!  

As I think about Oh, the Places You'll Go and Infertility...I am making some text to self connections and can picture the teaching chart that goes along with it!  It would be nice if Dr. Bopp could give us the odds that Dr. Seuss does... "And will you succeed?  Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)"

However, we are moving ahead knowing there's not a guarantee but having faith that things are going to work out for us!  It's a little scary sometimes, but without faith I surely would be a big hot mess! This past week I got an e-mail from Heidi at the Cade Foundation at the perfect time.  I was kind of down and just frustrated in general.  It was a good reminder that God has the right time for everything!  Heidi also reminded me to appreciate the journey!  Thanks to Heidi, I now have a Cade Foundation bracelet with words on it.  :)

Yesterday, I went to the doc in the box (urgent care) because of a lovely sinus infection.  With ISTEP coming up, there is no time to be sick!  The PA asked about the last time I had my TSH checked, I replied our fertility doc had just checked it.  That simple question led to me being able to share about the Cade Foundation!  It was the first time I'd shared our story with a stranger and been able to give him a resource to help.  So, I left with an antibiotic and feeling good about having shared our story.

There's nothing else too exciting to share!  Please say a prayer for my Allen munchkins and the staff as we start ISTEP this week and for Joe as he deals with me and ISTEP stress!  

Mark your calendars ladies~ March 15 is the 2nd Annual Cade Foundation Fertili-Wine Tasting!  This event is being hosted with Stacie Vetor (my cousin who received the Cade Grant, was blessed with triplets, and is the reason we began supporting Cade).  If you haven't received an evite or a message on Facebook, let me know!  We would love to have as many ladies join us to celebrate the Cade Foundation and any donations to the Cade Foundation are appreciated and will enter you into a raffle drawing.  We will have surprise bottles of wine and other fun prizes!

Thanks for taking time to read our blog and share in our journey!  We are so blessed to have wonderful friends and family supporting us!  Have a wonderful week!

Sarah & Joe