Adventures in ultrasound-ing

We are moving onward kids, finally!  Today when I told Dr. Bopp it's been a long time coming, he said good things come to those who wait.  The day didn't start off to badly, got to sleep in and run a couple errands before heading to Midwest for my appointment.  I was just north of the Daleville exit when my tire pressure warning came on, and the number went down...fast.  Rather than panic, I just kept saying, "God, just get me off the interstate safely!"  I'm very proud to say that no tears were shed!  Granted, I did call mom and tell her to leave ASAP because Nurse Allison had said the schedule was packed so go ahead and come as soon as we could.  After Allison talked to Bopp, she called me back and said they would work me in and get there safely.  Super Mom to the rescue, so we headed to Indy.  The car was safely parked in the gas station lot, and getting my ultrasound done was more important at the moment.  
I greatly appreciate the staff at Midwest Fertility!  From the friendly face at the sign desk (America who was the sweetheart that answered my panicked phone calls mid-flat!) to the nurses and Dr. Bopp, everyone was so sweet, encouraging, and feeling the pain of a flat tire.  Mom hung out in the waiting room because a saline ultrasound is not something you need an audience for!  Dr. Bopp and Nurse April were with me for the ultrasound.  There was a 2 millimeter spot that was not in an area of concern, but then after looking around he said it was the catheter.  WOOHOO!  That means the uterus is still clear and ready for some embryos to transfer.  With a high five, Dr. Bopp went out to help other patients and I sat thankful for another answered prayer.  Allison went over injections with me, mixing meds, when I give what, and showed me the different needles.  Good times in store!  
Throughout the day, I'd been updating Facebook with my drama.  I was so thankful and felt the love as my friends and family sent prayers and words of encouragement.  After posting we are moving ahead with IVF in November, we were once again greeted with an outpouring of love, prayers, and kind words.  That's one of the reasons I'm so thankful we have been open with our journey...the support we receive really gets us through!
For now, it's back to my munchkins and trying to get plans done and ready for being out for all my appointments.  While I miss my Allen friends, I am so thankful for my move to preschool.  I work with awesome ladies and love my little kiddos.  While I am exhausted by  the end of each day, I still can say I really LOVE what I do.  (It helps that Allison said one caffeinated beverage daily is safe, so my two baby diet cokes are approved! This may help the yawning daily at 3:00!)
The tire saga isn't quite complete yet, we went back to the car when Joe got home.  I observed the process of changing a tire, just in case I ever have to do it myself.  (What are the odds of me actually doing that?!)  Joe finally got the flat one off, and the donut got us home.  He's taking it to fixed in the morning and I'm a truck driving girl for a day or two.  
That's the adventure in baby-making for today!   Dumb flat tire didn't ruin my day or our great news!
For my friends that pray for us and are specific...now we just are thankful for good news, pray for productivity between now and the start of our cycle, pray for me as I brave the needles!  Long term, we pray for healthy embryos so we have two to transfer, and that at least one of those little ones sticks and stays!  
The Cade Foundation awarded 6 grants for 2013, we are excited for these families as they start their journey.  We won't be able to attend the banquet this year because of our cycle timing, but will be with them in spirit!
Love to all and thanks for the prayers & support~
Sarah & Joe

One step at a time

Things are getting real with this IVF!  It's exciting and scary as we prepare for our cycle.  We've waited so long, and now it's really happening...so thankful!
I go this Thursday for another saline ultrasound to make sure everything is still clear from the surgery in May.  Please pray that there are no new polyps and Dr. Bopp will say we are ready to rock and roll come November!  After the fun of the ultrasound, I get to learn about giving myself the different injections....not so much am I looking forward to that part!  I'm trying to remember that whole "Don't be anxious about anything," but it can be scary when it comes to needles.  As we move forward I will need extra prayers for calm hands as I poke myself!  
Our infectious blood work came back, so that was another thing to check off the to do list.  For some reason they didn't receive a copy of Joe's paperwork, so I'm hand delivering his on Thursday.  
Based on my calculations, we have about four weeks until the real fun begins.  It's so exciting to finally be ready to move ahead!  It is easy to get caught up in the "what if's" relating to our cycle, but that would drive me crazy and we know that wouldn't be a far trip.  We are going on seven years with infertility and I truly believe we were given this journey for a reason.  I have never been one to be quiet about anything, so maybe God is using that gift so I can help others know infertility is a real medical condition and that it can be dealt with.  I am so thankful for a husband who has been behind 110% through all of this fertility stuff.  It's not easy dealing with me in general, but throw some hormones on that and Joe Jones deserves a medal of honor.  I am thankful he's always the voice of reason, encouragement, or is just there to get me through a melt down!  We hope that by sharing our story and being open, we will be able to help other couples travelling this bumpy road.
Joe has exciting news, he is now just working at Walls Furniture!  Saturday was his last day at Great Sounds!
Enough rambling but if you are reading this blog, odds are good you can follow my ADD!  Thanks to everyone for the continued love, support, and prayers as we move closer to our IVF cycle.  Please pray for no polyps this Thursday!  (Also, say a prayer for my preschool friends.  The Head Start review is this week!  I am blessed to work with some fabulous people!)
Have a wonderful week~
Sarah & Joe

Rambles from Sarah

We are finally moving ahead with the IVF.  It seems as though we've been waiting forever, but Tuesday marked the one year anniversary of us receiving the phone call that we received the Cade grant.  God blessed us with the Cade Foundation and this past week, He answered another prayer that helped us be able to move ahead! We have an amazing support system in our family and friends, it has helped keep us going along the way.  Being part of the Cade Foundation also provides us with a built in support system!  When I e-mailed Camille and Heidi, they both sent me a sweet, supportive note of encouragement as we move ahead.  While we haven't been in treatment, we have been part of the Cade Foundation family for the past year!    

Joe and I have to get some infectious disease bloodwork done, Joe beat me to the punch by getting it done today.  Dr. Bopp was in Africa on a mission trip (how awesome is that?!), so I just found out today that we will do another saline ultrasound to ensure my uterus is still prime real estate for our embryos.  One day in October, I will head down to Bopp for the ultrasound and to learn how to do the different injections.  The needles scare me a little more than the ultrasound! Come November, we will be rocking and rolling IVF style!   
On a side note, Joe and I were able to go the Colts game last Sunday with his dad.  It was a beautiful day for football with the roof open.  Football is always a fun event together, unless it's fantasy football...that's a whole different story!  
Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we move forward!  We are so thankful for our friends and family!
Love,
Sarah & Joe

Back to life, back to reality

Wow, it's been almost a month since I've written!  What's been going on....just back to school crazy!  It's an adjustment getting back into the routine, but while I miss naps I do enjoy having a regular schedule.  Life in preschool is awesome, it's tiring but totally rocks!  I miss seeing my Allen family every day, but am so blessed to have the opportunity to work with the little munchkins all the time.  Teaching is a crazy, stressful, and rewarding profession...preschool has released a lot of stress from my shoulders.  The first day of school when I left, I was overcome with a sense of relief and peace.  While I loved teaching at Allen, God knew a little less stress would be more friendly for making a baby!  What's new on the baby front?  Not a lot, we still haven't started our cycle and to be honest there are days when that may bum me out a bit.  I'm a little emotionally high maintenance, but Joe maintains me pretty well!  :)  He's always the voice of reason when I get a little emotional...we are going to do our IVF, we have the year to use the grant, I needed to have the surgery to have a prime spot for our embryos, etc.  To keep balanced in all ways, I've started going to church regularly with mom and started doing a Zumba class twice/week.  
Last night at church, this was the verse that smacked me in the head...
Proverbs 16:9 The Message (MSG)
We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it.

Yup, God said, "Sarah Elizabeth, chill out!  I've got the plan!"  Granted, that was just the gist I took away from the verse and sermon about God guiding us!  Another bullet point, Don't Hurry!  Jeremiah 29:11 was also quoted.  It was one of the moments where I was reminded that there is a greater plan for us, and my time frame isn't the one that matters.  We've been dealt infertility for a purpose.  It's brought us together through the ups and downs.  We've been able to reach out to other couples facing the same battles.  It's also blessed us with the Cade Foundation, which brought us the opportunity to do the IVF cycle this year and gave us another family of support.

Everyone will know when things are rolling, it's not like I'm ever quiet about anything!  In the mean time, just continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we prepare to take that next step.  I'll close with this song from Kutless, What Faith Can Do.  Pandora whacked me in the head with that song one day when I was kind of down.

Have a wonderful week!

Love,

Sarah (and Joe)

Reflecting on Job and Job’s

Job's Daughters logo from my day

Today was my first Job’s Daughters meeting in quite some time!  While it makes me feel old to think I saw my friend’s daughter get initiated, it was still a great afternoon.  As I sat there listening to the story of Job, I made some new connections.  Looking back, Job’s Daughters taught me the importance of faith and patience, especially when overcoming adversity.  While our adversity is not really the same as Job’s, listening to his story today I could relate it a lot to our journey.  When you start trying to get pregnant, all seems right with the world and you are full hope.  I’d be lying if I said I never lost faith or got angry with God, but through the time we’ve spent on the infertility road I’ve been able to move past that.  Granted, some days I still get a little frustrated and go “REALLY?!”  but just like Job we are going to overcome and in the end we will have our own reward.  I could not begin to count how many times I have heard the story of Job, and find it pretty awesome that after 21 years of hearing it I’m still growing and learning! 

DeMolay

DeMolay Sweetheart

For those of you who haven’t been around us since our start, Job’s Daughters is the Masonic Organization for girls.  It dawned on me that I could use a flow map to write my blog this week, but I won’t!  One night Moe came home from Lodge and shared he put my name down for something.  Poor Moe had no clue what I was about to dive into!  J  Job’s Daughters was my primary activity out of school.  In 1996, I branched out to DeMolay Sweetheart on top of Job’s.  Chapter Sweetheart led to State Sweetheart which led to Joe Jones! J  (There’s where I could have used the flow map!)  Between DeMolay and Job’s Daughters, there was always something going to do.  In 1999, I went to the Miss Indiana Job’s Daughter pageant and became Miss Congeniality.  That started another year of travels and friendships thanks to Job’s Daughters.  When looking at pictures from the wedding, it’s clear the impact Job’s and DeMolay had on us!  We have been blessed with so many good friends and really appreciate our memories from our Masonic Youth days.    

          There are so many good memories of our travels, friends, and occasional mischief from our Job’s and DeMolay days!  Today, I was just blessed to be reminded of them and how I can use those lessons learned and apply them to our infertility journey!  Patience is the main virtue I will continue to work on until we start our IVF cycle.  Faith is another big one!  

Have a wonderful week!

Love, Sarah & Joe

Top Ten List

I've been struggling with writer's block, so am following in the foot steps of fellow Ball State alum and rolling out a top ten list of things we're thankful for!  We are always thankful for our family, friends, and love and support we have, so here are some random ones!  

10. Friends, Big Bang Theory, and Sex and the City for always being able to entertain me and crack me up even thought I have seen them all...a lot!
9. Plants vs. Zombies- this one I'm adding for Joe because he plays a lot
8. Podcasts- we both listen to a variety and a lot!
7. Diet Cherry Coke & Mountain Dew...need I say more?! We are cutting back on caffeine though, but these are the fav loaded beverages!
6.  Naps...highlight of summer for Mrs. Jones and the kitties. Sometimes when you're having a bad infertile day you have to remember the little things you CAN do- naps are up there with wine! :)
5.  Buffets...Teppanyaki for Joe, Pizza Hut with Mom for me

4.  I'm a full time special needs preschool teacher!!!  WOOHOO!  I will miss my Allen friends and munchkins, but really feel blessed to make this change!
3.My TSH levels are back up in the range that Dr. Bopp wants them for IVF & Pregnancy.
2. Date nights...we went to Scotty's for dinner, a beverage, and desert! 

and the number one thing we have to be thankful for this week...

being able to see so many of our old friends from DeMolay!  DeMolay played such a major role in our youth and the start of our relationship, it was fun to stroll down memory lane!

So, that's the blog update for this week!  A little random, but if you know me that shouldn't be too surprising!

Love,

Sarah & Joe

Sharing emotions

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4

This was the scripture that started my daily infertility devotional e-mail yesterday.  (Check out www.sarahs-laughter.com)  I had wondered what I’d write about this week since there’s no major update on the IVF front…yesterday’s devotion was about sharing your story in order to help others.  Some of this has probably come up in other blog posts, so if I repeat sorry.

So, here goes…

I can start with our hope and excitement as we decided to try and start our family.  We were married, had jobs, health insurance, and felt it was time to get cracking.  Well, hope and excitement decreased month to month as nothing was happening.  There were books, Google searches, and advices coming from different directions and we were game to try anything.  I should say I was ready to try random things and bless Joe for going with my crazy!

Fast forward to the evil cycles with Clomid, there just isn’t a lot of good to share.  It works for some people, but I would highly recommend three cycles of Clomid and then moving on.  At the Jones’ house, Clomid=Crazy!  It involved my assistant at school wearing three layers to battle the frosty classroom thanks to the hot flashes!  With the Clomid crazy came cycles of hope and disappointment each month.  Throughout the hot flashes, tears, hope, negative pregnancy tests…Joe was always there.  I have read that infertility can make or break couples, and our relationship is definitely stronger and more solid because of the ups and downs we have been through over the past few years.

Sometimes, people say things with good intentions but when you feel like it’s an uphill battle, little things can just hit hard.  “Just relax!”  “Are you sure you’re doing it right?”  “Just adopt, and then you’ll get pregnant.”  “We just look at each other and get pregnant.”  These innocent comments of good hearted friends left me crying when I was by myself or curled up on Joe’s shoulder.  Do I wish people just left me alone and not acknowledged what we were struggling with?  Not all, we would not have gotten this far without our friends and family!  Google dealing with infertility and you will see various articles on things people say without realizing the emotional impact it will have.  Part of the problem is infertility has always been something nobody wanted to talk about, so here I am.  If you know me,  you know that being quiet is not my strong suit. 

Last summer I realized that God had given us infertility for a greater purpose.  We will have our family some day; in His time (not mine as much as I’d like to plan!).  Between now and then, we will continue to share our story and hopefully reach out to other couples facing the same path.  Do I have all the answers?  Heck no!  Am I always at peace and content with infertility?  Nope, infertility sucks some days…when every one around is growing their family, celebrating birthdays, being the “only” couple without kids, etc.  I allow myself a moment to be sad, cry if needed, but not wallow in self pity.  I enjoy a glass of wine, being able to nap whenever my heart desires, and hanging out with the husband.  It’s the little things. 

Why on Earth am I rambling on and on…because I felt called to share my story in an open and honest way.  Hopefully, some one out there may take something away from it or share our blog with someone along a similar path.  There are resources out there and support.  I often go back to the Cade Foundation Banquet where couples shared that their families and friends had no clue what they had been through.  We are so blessed to have supportive family and friends, and hope that we can reach out and help others.  

Love,

Sarah & Joe