Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
This
was the scripture that started my daily infertility devotional e-mail yesterday. (Check out www.sarahs-laughter.com) I had wondered what I’d write about this week
since there’s no major update on the IVF front…yesterday’s devotion was about
sharing your story in order to help others.
Some of this has probably come up in other blog posts, so if I repeat
sorry.
So,
here goes…
I can start with our hope and excitement as we
decided to try and start our family. We
were married, had jobs, health insurance, and felt it was time to get
cracking. Well, hope and excitement
decreased month to month as nothing was happening. There were books, Google searches, and
advices coming from different directions and we were game to try anything. I should say I was ready to try random things
and bless Joe for going with my crazy!
Fast forward to the evil cycles with Clomid, there
just isn’t a lot of good to share. It
works for some people, but I would highly recommend three cycles of Clomid and
then moving on. At the Jones’ house,
Clomid=Crazy! It involved my assistant
at school wearing three layers to battle the frosty classroom thanks to the hot
flashes! With the Clomid crazy came cycles
of hope and disappointment each month.
Throughout the hot flashes, tears, hope, negative pregnancy tests…Joe
was always there. I have read that
infertility can make or break couples, and our relationship is definitely
stronger and more solid because of the ups and downs we have been through over
the past few years.
Sometimes, people say things with good intentions
but when you feel like it’s an uphill battle, little things can just hit
hard. “Just relax!” “Are you sure you’re doing it right?” “Just adopt, and then you’ll get
pregnant.” “We just look at each other
and get pregnant.” These innocent
comments of good hearted friends left me crying when I was by myself or curled
up on Joe’s shoulder. Do I wish people
just left me alone and not acknowledged what we were struggling with? Not all, we would not have gotten this far
without our friends and family! Google
dealing with infertility and you will see various articles on things people say
without realizing the emotional impact it will have. Part of the problem is infertility has always
been something nobody wanted to talk about, so here I am. If you know me, you know that being quiet is not my strong
suit.
Last summer I realized that God had given us
infertility for a greater purpose. We
will have our family some day; in His time (not mine as much as I’d like to
plan!). Between now and then, we will
continue to share our story and hopefully reach out to other couples facing the
same path. Do I have all the
answers? Heck no! Am I always at peace and content with
infertility? Nope, infertility sucks
some days…when every one around is growing their family, celebrating birthdays,
being the “only” couple without kids, etc.
I allow myself a moment to be sad, cry if needed, but not wallow in self
pity. I enjoy a glass of wine, being
able to nap whenever my heart desires, and hanging out with the husband. It’s the little things.
Why on Earth am I rambling on and on…because I
felt called to share my story in an open and honest way. Hopefully, some one out there may take
something away from it or share our blog with someone along a similar
path. There are resources out there and
support. I often go back to the Cade
Foundation Banquet where couples shared that their families and friends had no
clue what they had been through. We are
so blessed to have supportive family and friends, and hope that we can reach
out and help others.
Love,
Sarah & Joe
