Christmas Inspired Rambles and Reflections

Last night at our Christmas Eve service, Pastor Gregg was sharing about the star that led the Wisemen to a stable....not a palace. What do you do when you find yourself in the stable? Pastor Gregg shared they looked for God in the stable. He made the connection that most often when we are in a stable situation that's where we feel God's love more and closer. It really made me think about the past year and how God has used heartbreak to help me have a better relationship with Him.

Since I can't even begin to convey the message as eloquently as Pastor Gregg, you can follow this link to see the Christmas Eve service and message. It's worth it, I promise! Christmas Eve Service

(Warning, my ADD probably kick in as I try and share my story and most of this was written in the car on the iPad, so you've been warned! I figure if you're reading this you are equipped to deal with me already!) This time last year we were living with guarded optimism after a positive pregnancy test. We then had hope as we heard a heartbeat. We started 2013 with heartache, as we had an angel. Today, we looked forward to spending the day with family and celebrating how blessed we are!

Through all of our infertility, I had been up and down with faith and trusting God. I've shared before that some days were and still can be a struggle. One thing that strengthened my faith was the fact when I was scared or discouraged through the IVF there were always several friends that prayed for me, shared words of encouragement, and loved us through.

Granted, the day we were at the hospital and my prayers weren't being answered...I was a little irritated and couldn't understand why after all of our heartache and hope we were faced with loss. Pastor Glenn is the only person that I remember talking to that day outside of Joe and the hospital people. I think God knew we needed a shoulder to cry on, someone who would pray with us, and just a visible reminder we weren't facing things alone.

I decided to join the Women's Bible Study at church. My thought was it would get me out of the house and introduce me to some new friends. I had no clue how much I would love and appreciate having that time with other ladies while learning a lot about my relationship with Jesus, a lot about myself, and seeing the importance of having a church family. Granted, I don't always get my homework done but I still love it.
While I was learning to rely on God and that He wasn't out to torture us with heartbreak, I still had meltdown moments. I figured I'm human so of course I will still be a hot mess now and then. For one week in June, I got to help preschoolers with crafts during Wee Serve. It was an opportunity to get out of the house and do what I love...be with the the little guys. While I love my summer break, I was apprehensive about being home and having too much time on my hands. Another summer church adventure was taking the membership class at Union Chapel was the next step in my faith. The more I became involved and met more people, the more comfortable I felt.
On the home front, we hadn't talked about what we were going to do next...it just was a road we hadn't gone down. When we went to help with the Race for the Family, we were going to help give back to the Cade Foundation because of the grant, love, and prayers they give us. When it came time for the IVF raffle, we waited knowing that someone would receive an amazing blessing. What we had no clue was that an angel looking out for us had entered our names into the raffle, and my name was drawn. We all know I'm never speechless but this was the exception.

There is no way to explain it other than God knew I needed a clear sign on what we should do. As I think back about how amazed and blessed we still are to have another

chance at IVF, it's one of those moments you have to chalk up to God.

Step back to the membership class with me for a minute, please. One of the questions was whether you had been baptized or not. Well, I grew up in a Quaker Church so nope, no baptism with water. Granted, if I had been baptized back in my teen years I really don't think I would have had the understanding and appreciation that I do at this point in life. Pastor Glenn was the one that called to talk about what God had been doing in my life and why I wanted to be baptized. (Insert a very similar conversation that I've just typed here but probably with even less focus!) December 7, I took the next step and was baptized at Union Chapel. It was an exciting event and honestly, I wasn't expecting the peacefulness that I felt after. I'm praying that peacefulness will help me power through the emotional and physical aspects of trying again.

Thanks as always for taking time to read my update, especially when I don't go back and revise! It's more honest and heartfelt when I just ramble on. We hope you have had a wonderful Christmas with your families! We continue to be thankful for the love and support we receive from family and friends.

For what to pray specifically for right now...I'm trying to give up caffeine over break! My goal was to give up Caffeine Free Diet, too...but I'm going to be realistic. I'm guessing Dr. Morris won't understand how scary the thought of keeping up with preschoolers on no caffeine is...so just pray for no headaches and natural energy to keep up with my favorite little people. Also, we are hoping to get the ovarian reserve testing done soon. Timing is everything right now, and I'm hoping that it will work out so I won't have to miss school to get that done. I've got to get Dr. Morris to send Dr. Darroca specific instructions on how he wants the testing done. Darroca said he uses Clomid to do the test, and I said, "No, no, no, no, no." Who knew one word could stir such an adverse reaction?!

Enough rambling! Enjoy time with your family and friends!

Love,

Sarah and Joe

Merry Christmas!!

As we celebrate this Christmas, we want to take a moment to thank everyone for their love, prayers, encouragement, and support.  We are so blessed with amazing family and friends that support us along the way.  Have a wonderful holiday with your families!

Love is Patient

Twelve years ago, these words were read at our wedding and really sum up life at the Jones' house!

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT

Happy 12 years tomorrow babe!!  This afternoon I've been scrolling through pictures and thinking about how blessed I am daily that Joe is my husband.  While I wouldn't recommend or wish infertility on anyone, it has definitely been a factor in helping us to grow stronger as a couple.  Life has never been dull or easy at the Jones' house, but we have managed to overcome the various challenges in our path.  Thankfully, Joe is the level-headed one when I go Code Red!  I'm a blessed girl.  

Tuesday we ventured to Anderson for my hysteroscopy.  Dr. Darroca was able to remove the polyps he found and we were back in Muncie by four.  I'm not the most congenial girl without food or drink, so I was very thankful they moved surgery from 3:30 to 12:30!  This was my first adventure at Community Hospital in Anderson and I really appreciated how they took care of me.  My TSH came back at 2.45, below the 2.5 where Dr. Morris wants it to be.  The nurse called and was going to order some more labs...something about thyroid antibodies just to make sure it's all under control.  However, I ventured to LabCorp to find the order hadn't arrived.  That test will have to wait until Monday.  I go back for a post-op appointment on the 23rd with Darroca.  I'm hoping that day we can figure out what ovarian reserve testing he can do for us.  The ovarian reserve testing will help guide Dr. Morris in the medicine protocol, so having that information will help us be able to budget for meds.

Wednesday I had taken off as a personal illness day just to make sure I was good to go after anesthetic.  The morning started off with me feeling fine thinking that I could have gone to school.  As the day moved on, my shoulders and neck were sore and tight.  I had forgotten that after these procedures, you get shoulder pain as the gas leaves your body.  (It seems like you should just be able to toot and be done with it, but no shoulder and neck pain is more fun)  When I ventured back to the munchkins on Thursday, I just had a happy heart.  Having little smiles and hugs makes all the crazy times of teaching worth it.  I think when I'm out for the IVF I'm going to have to FaceTime with the kiddos!  I'm so thankful for a job I love and wonderful people that steer the ship when I need to be out.  (A special shout out to Ms. Kelly who I ditched for a surgery the week of her finals!  I did leave chocolate)

Please pray for us as we enter the holidays.  Last year at this time, I had started bleeding and then miscarried.  Things are off to a great start for the holidays- we have our Christmas tree up and Polar Express Day is coming in preschool!  

Pray that we are able to count our blessings and look toward the future.  Pray that my thyroid levels comes back fine and that we get the ovarian reserve testing done.  One blessing I've discovered is a discount medication program, so that may turn out to be a major answer to prayer.  

In other excitement, this girl got baptized last Saturday!  I'm so thankful and blessed.  Stay warm and safe friends!

'Tis the season for a procedure

There hasn't been much to report regarding our infertility journey lately, but there is a little bit today!  Yesterday, we went to Dr. Darroca (OB-GYN in Muncie) to get an annual, drop off my 123 page history from Dr. Bopp, and get some tests and procedures planned that Dr. Morris would like done before IVF.  It turns out that going to a doctor you haven't seen in a couple years is harder on your blood pressure than a wild day with the munchkins!  (146/95...oops)  Looking back, I think the anticipation of going over everything that's happened and the unknown of what we could get done here may have just got me worked up a little.  It turns out that I'm very comfortable talking about my infertility, but my miscarriage is a little more difficult. 

I always like to find a picture or quote to use when I blog, and this one jumped out at me.  Our first IVF started off smoothly, took a detour to the couch, and ended in a way we hadn't hoped.  Having this visual really makes me think about how to move ahead as we look toward IVF again.  November 2012-January 2013 was a draining experience....emotionally and physically which makes the thought of doing it all again a little daunting.  I've got to cross the monkey bars and not be afraid as we move forward.
Since I've got a history of cysts and polyps, I need to have a hysteroscopy done.  It's an outpatient procedure that I've had before...it just needs to be done at a specific time in my cycle.  His schedule was pretty booked, but after touching base with Dr. Morris about timing they were able to work me in.  Monday morning is our pre-op appointment and Tuesday at 3:30 is the procedure.  Pre-op is in Muncie, but the procedure will be at Community in Anderson.  I forgot to ask if he does these under anesthetic, if I can't eat or drink until 3:30 I'm going to need a full day sub.  Nobody wants a hungry and thirsty Jones, but Mr. Jones has dealt with the beast before! 
For our friends and family that pray specifically for us, here's what we need for the upcoming week...pray that my hysteroscopy goes smoothly and if there are any polyps they are taken care of, pray for Joe as he deals with me leading up to the procedure especially if I have anesthetic, and pray for the munchkins and the ladies that will hold down the fort while I'm out.  (Also, pray for temperatures that allow for gross motor time outside...32 degrees!)
One more thing, I got my TSH checked again...waiting for the result.  Since my levels fluctuate, please pray that they get and keep me between 1-2.  TSH and hysteroscopy are just one of the first steps before we start down the IVF road again!  We still have to get Joe's test updated and my ovarian reserve.  One step at a time!

Thanks for the love and prayers as always!
Sarah and Joe