Last night at our Christmas Eve service, Pastor Gregg was sharing about the star that led the Wisemen to a stable....not a palace. What do you do when you find yourself in the stable? Pastor Gregg shared they looked for God in the stable. He made the connection that most often when we are in a stable situation that's where we feel God's love more and closer. It really made me think about the past year and how God has used heartbreak to help me have a better relationship with Him.
Since I can't even begin to convey the message as eloquently as Pastor Gregg, you can follow this link to see the Christmas Eve service and message. It's worth it, I promise! Christmas Eve Service
(Warning, my ADD probably kick in as I try and share my story and most of this was written in the car on the iPad, so you've been warned! I figure if you're reading this you are equipped to deal with me already!) This time last year we were living with guarded optimism after a positive pregnancy test. We then had hope as we heard a heartbeat. We started 2013 with heartache, as we had an angel. Today, we looked forward to spending the day with family and celebrating how blessed we are!
Through all of our infertility, I had been up and down with faith and trusting God. I've shared before that some days were and still can be a struggle. One thing that strengthened my faith was the fact when I was scared or discouraged through the IVF there were always several friends that prayed for me, shared words of encouragement, and loved us through.
I decided to join the Women's Bible Study at church. My thought was it would get me out of the house and introduce me to some new friends. I had no clue how much I would love and appreciate having that time with other ladies while learning a lot about my relationship with Jesus, a lot about myself, and seeing the importance of having a church family. Granted, I don't always get my homework done but I still love it.
While I was learning to rely on God and that He wasn't out to torture us with heartbreak, I still had meltdown moments. I figured I'm human so of course I will still be a hot mess now and then. For one week in June, I got to help preschoolers with crafts during Wee Serve. It was an opportunity to get out of the house and do what I love...be with the the little guys. While I love my summer break, I was apprehensive about being home and having too much time on my hands. Another summer church adventure was taking the membership class at Union Chapel was the next step in my faith. The more I became involved and met more people, the more comfortable I felt.
On the home front, we hadn't talked about what we were going to do next...it just was a road we hadn't gone down. When we went to help with the Race for the Family, we were going to help give back to the Cade Foundation because of the grant, love, and prayers they give us. When it came time for the IVF raffle, we waited knowing that someone would receive an amazing blessing. What we had no clue was that an angel looking out for us had entered our names into the raffle, and my name was drawn. We all know I'm never speechless but this was the exception.
There is no way to explain it other than God knew I needed a clear sign on what we should do. As I think back about how amazed and blessed we still are to have another
chance at IVF, it's one of those moments you have to chalk up to God.
Step back to the membership class with me for a minute, please. One of the questions was whether you had been baptized or not. Well, I grew up in a Quaker Church so nope, no baptism with water. Granted, if I had been baptized back in my teen years I really don't think I would have had the understanding and appreciation that I do at this point in life. Pastor Glenn was the one that called to talk about what God had been doing in my life and why I wanted to be baptized. (Insert a very similar conversation that I've just typed here but probably with even less focus!) December 7, I took the next step and was baptized at Union Chapel. It was an exciting event and honestly, I wasn't expecting the peacefulness that I felt after. I'm praying that peacefulness will help me power through the emotional and physical aspects of trying again.
Thanks as always for taking time to read my update, especially when I don't go back and revise! It's more honest and heartfelt when I just ramble on. We hope you have had a wonderful Christmas with your families! We continue to be thankful for the love and support we receive from family and friends.
For what to pray specifically for right now...I'm trying to give up caffeine over break! My goal was to give up Caffeine Free Diet, too...but I'm going to be realistic. I'm guessing Dr. Morris won't understand how scary the thought of keeping up with preschoolers on no caffeine is...so just pray for no headaches and natural energy to keep up with my favorite little people. Also, we are hoping to get the ovarian reserve testing done soon. Timing is everything right now, and I'm hoping that it will work out so I won't have to miss school to get that done. I've got to get Dr. Morris to send Dr. Darroca specific instructions on how he wants the testing done. Darroca said he uses Clomid to do the test, and I said, "No, no, no, no, no." Who knew one word could stir such an adverse reaction?!
Enough rambling! Enjoy time with your family and friends!
Love,
Sarah and Joe
Step back to the membership class with me for a minute, please. One of the questions was whether you had been baptized or not. Well, I grew up in a Quaker Church so nope, no baptism with water. Granted, if I had been baptized back in my teen years I really don't think I would have had the understanding and appreciation that I do at this point in life. Pastor Glenn was the one that called to talk about what God had been doing in my life and why I wanted to be baptized. (Insert a very similar conversation that I've just typed here but probably with even less focus!) December 7, I took the next step and was baptized at Union Chapel. It was an exciting event and honestly, I wasn't expecting the peacefulness that I felt after. I'm praying that peacefulness will help me power through the emotional and physical aspects of trying again.
Thanks as always for taking time to read my update, especially when I don't go back and revise! It's more honest and heartfelt when I just ramble on. We hope you have had a wonderful Christmas with your families! We continue to be thankful for the love and support we receive from family and friends.
For what to pray specifically for right now...I'm trying to give up caffeine over break! My goal was to give up Caffeine Free Diet, too...but I'm going to be realistic. I'm guessing Dr. Morris won't understand how scary the thought of keeping up with preschoolers on no caffeine is...so just pray for no headaches and natural energy to keep up with my favorite little people. Also, we are hoping to get the ovarian reserve testing done soon. Timing is everything right now, and I'm hoping that it will work out so I won't have to miss school to get that done. I've got to get Dr. Morris to send Dr. Darroca specific instructions on how he wants the testing done. Darroca said he uses Clomid to do the test, and I said, "No, no, no, no, no." Who knew one word could stir such an adverse reaction?!
Enough rambling! Enjoy time with your family and friends!
Love,
Sarah and Joe
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