Not what we were hoping for....

"Held" by Natalie Grant

 

That's all that I've come up with so far after staring at the computer for thirty minutes.  One of my friends who continues to encourage me introduced me to the song, "Held," after the miscarriage after our first IVF.  It still holds true.  Alright, I'm going to start back at Monday.  Bear with me if I'm even more random than normal, a little ADD, emotion, and grief may equal no real sequence.

We set out Monday morning for Dr. Morris once again.  Anxiety and emotion were flying high and we managed to get there an hour early.  (I really wasn't speeding that much on the way up!)  Since we were just there for a blood test, it was a super quick trip and they got us in.  I think the day of the pregnancy test may be the scariest part of the whole IVF process.  I can handle the injections and procedures, but the waiting can make you bonkers!  Our game plan was just to head straight home after the blood draw.  We made the occasional potty stops of course and finally ate lunch in Anderson.  That's progress from our first IVF when we couldn't go anywhere in public while we were waiting.  As we got closer to home, "God Gave Me You," came on K-Love and I experienced breakdown #1 of the day.  It's so fitting, we have been through way too many ups and downs and Joe continues to be my rock and helps me stay somewhat sane.

They had told us the nurse would call when the results came back, but that it wouldn't be until late afternoon.  Can we just say the clock was moving even slower?!  As I was unlocking the door to home, the phone rang.  It was negative, my HCG was only 3.2.  Anything under 5 is considered negative and they don't retest.  I'm not sure devastated would be the word, there just aren't any words to explain it.  I was so sure that this was going to be our time, we had been blessed with this IVF cycle, it just seemed like a healthy baby was going to be the picture perfect way to wrap up the story.  Nope, nothing, not even a glimmer of hope.  Everything is pretty blurry after that except for Joe holding me while I sobbed and reassuring me that we did everything that we were supposed to.  There was guilt after the miscarriage and there was guilt after finding out our embryos didn't stick.  I think it's human nature to rethink every move you made or any thing you did...if only there was an answer for why.  Granted, I had listened to the sermon about avoiding the "what if" scenarios of life but in this situation there was no way to avoid it. 

The thing about infertility is it can be a vicious cycle or roller coaster.  Things seem to fall into place, go smoothly, and you're filled with hope that this is going to be the cycle that leads you to a healthy baby.  I'm pretty sure we had the most prayed for embryos to date.  I was holding out hope, and then the harsh reality of a phone call shattered it once again.

Since I've blogged and updated pretty much a play by play for this cycle, I knew I needed to let our family and friends know the results weren't what we wanted.  We would need different prayers now, prayers of peace and comfort as we grieve.  I really hope everyone knows how much the love and prayers have really gotten us through this and will continue to get us through.  I'm also super thankful for Pastor Glenn at church who provides encouragement, support, and prayers.  (I started going to Union Chapel with mom to save her gas driving to Marion, and I'm so thankful to be there!!)

What's next on our journey?  Who knows!  It's time to step back and just enjoy each other.  I've already taken advantage of some positives- real coffee, real diet coke, a glass of wine, and my ADD medicine!  You have to count the small blessings when your heart has been broken.  I'm super excited for a motorcycle ride with my handsome husband very soon.  Monday I will return to my munchkins and just tell them I was sick but missed them.  Hugs from some of my favorite little people will be good for the soul!  Some days I do get frustrated, I've been called to be a teacher and love children.  Not being able to have our own can be a bigger burden at times, but at the same time I'm blessed to have so many little people to love on while we wait for our blessing! 

Please continue to keep us in your prayers.  We faced a loss and need to go through the grieving process.  We will continue to support and share about the Cade Foundation.  They have helped us attempt two IVF cycles to start a family and we are so thankful.  We continue to receive love and support from them.  National Infertility Awareness Week is coming up, so it will be another chance to share our story and speak out about infertility.  It's such an exhausting, intimate, and emotional disease to overcome.  While there are times I'm sure I overshare, I just want others to see and know that they aren't alone.  I cannot fathom the hot mess I would be without an amazing husband, strong faith, and a huge support system!  It breaks my heart to think of others who face infertility alone.

This showed up in my timeline on Facebook, just a perfect reminder for me!  We will share and update as we have anything to share.  Just know we are feeling the love and prayers and greatly appreciate them!

Love,

Sarah and Joe

Really going to work on this one!





Waiting...

If I paid myself $1 for every time I've reminded myself of this verse over the past week, I'd be rich!  The progesterone shots in the booty may be uncomfortable, but waiting from embryo transfer to the first blood test...it can be painful!  Tomorrow morning we venture up to Dr. Morris for our first blood test.  Please pray for a high HCG, below 5 is negative, we are aiming for above 50.  This will be the first stop, after tomorrow the test will hopefully be repeated every 2-3 days to monitor the HCG number increasing.  Yes, we are driving 4 hours and 40 minutes for one blood test that has the potential to change our lives.  It's worth it.  ;)
I'm thankful that we are covered in prayer.  The past few days have been rough.  While I'm really working on having faith and looking forward, I'm not perfect and have caught myself in the "what if" or "last time we did this..." scenarios in my head.  Thankfully, I've got a couple sermon podcast saved that remind me not to focus on the what if's and to fear not!  We've been doing the Transformed series at church and it has been fabulous and just what I needed right now.  I'm pretty sure I've listened to the one about stressed to blessed a billion times since last weekend!  (Maybe not a billion, but I've lost count!)  I've also got, "Don't Give Up," "Change Your Life by Changing Your Mind," and "How to Deal with How You Feel" that are playing on a loop! 
On Saturday nights, mom and I sit with the same group of people.  It's our little Saturday night family.  Last night, two of the ladies prayed over me and it was just what I needed.  I'd been teetering on the hot mess wagon off and on, and having some faithful friends pray over me gave me the peace I was in major need of!  Well, today I hopped back on the hot mess wagon in full force.  Joe loves hashbrown casserole, I don't so when I make that for him I make chicken and noodles for me.  Off to Marsh after lunch (and two hours for a dumb oil change at stupid Walmart) to get groceries to be a good little woman and cook dinner.  My ADD self often forgets things, add some hormones and anticipation...it was bound to happen that I would forget a minor ingredient for hash brown casserole.  Yup, I forgot the hash browns.  As soon as I park the car, a major meltdown erupts.  I told Joe I don't want to go to the doctor tomorrow, he told me to take a nap!  (He really has amazing patience with me)  Being the good guy he is, I curled up in the recliner while he ventured back out for hashbrowns.  Just another day on the emotional roller coaster of infertility! 
Please pray for our safe travels tomorrow.  We are praying for a positive pregnancy test that leads us to a healthy baby.  I'm going to need a lot of prayers in focusing on the future and not "what happened last time."  Joe could use some extra prayers as he has to not only wait for the results, but deal with the hormonal mess that is me!  I'm planning on updating tomorrow night, but make no promises.  Regardless of what happens, tomorrow is going to be an emotional day! 
Thanks for the love and prayers!
Sarah and Joe

From the transfer to the couch

Greetings from the couch!  I'm really not sure why I'm just updating about how the transfer went, I've not had much else to do.  I've got to start off by thanking everyone for their prayers, words of encouragement, and love.  Going through IVF is a physically and mentally draining adventure, I can't imagine not having so many friends and family supporting us!  It makes me extra thankful when I think about how hard it is for people to share about their infertility journey.  If you're reading this blog, you've been able to see how it is really an intimate and emotional process.  Pray for those couples facing infertility but aren't comfortable sharing their story!  I pray that by sharing our story, we are helping other couples get the feeling they aren't alone.
Saturday morning we got up early so we can travel our familiar road.  We started off having breakfast with J2.  We arrived at PJ and Kevin's to see Gramma, Grampa, and Aunt Kristi.  I'm thankful that we were able to spend our "waiting for transfer time" with family.  After Jack's soccer game, the Flora family arrived!  Pizza, Uno, and family...just what the doctor ordered!  Love my niece and nephew! (and their parents of course)  PJ and I had movie night while Joe snored on the couch, yeah for finally seeing Frozen!
Once again, we set our alarms for Sunday to get there on time for the transfer.  Our appointment was at 9:15 so thankfully we didn't have to be up before sunrise.  Finally, we were blessed with a sunny drive and not much traffic...so we arrive about forty minutes early.  In being honest and opinion, I can't leave out one little thing...my meltdown in the car.  We were parked, Joe said are you okay, and I burst into tears.  While I'd been working on staying positive, having hope, etc.  I finally had a moment where the fears came out my eyes.  Joe said it was too late to go back now.  (Have I mentioned how awesome my husband is?!)  After I composed myself, we crossed the street. 
Well, the problem came when there was nobody at the surgery center desk or upstairs in the office.  I double checked our appointment time, we made countless trips up and down stairs, and paced around the waiting room.  Right at 9:15, new Nurse Alison came out.  The front desk staff wasn't able to make it in and she was the only nurse.  We had kept missing her when she would peek out.  (It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't still traumatized from the day we were left waiting for the OB two hours during a Clomid cycle!  I'm a bit paranoid!!) 
Alison got us all settled in.  There were two other couples scheduled and we all had arrive around the same time.  While I was able to eat and drink for the embryo transfer, I couldn't potty.  The full bladder helps with the ultrasound when they transfer the embryos.  Bless Joe...if I can't potty, he didn't potty!  I rocked my cute hospital gown, my lucky Colts socks under their slipper socks, and Joe got to wear his head to toe outfit.  We didn't take a picture since he was wearing the same shirt as our last transfer day.  Dr. Morris came in to go over our embryo development, he was a little disappointed that we didn't have more fertilize than we did.  (I didn't tell him I had friends praying specifically for two blastocyst embryos!!)  We had two blastocysts, one was graded AC and one was BC.  The A and B refer to the inner part of the cell, the C grades the outer membrane.  Dr. Morris said he'd rather have the higher score on the inner cell, so that made me feel better.  We were wheeled back and I got strapped in.  Knowing how wiggly I am, the fact he has Velcro straps for the legs is probably a safe bet.  In the room we have Dr. Morris, a nurse, Joe, me, and two ladies from the lab.  Joe was at my head and the nurse manned the ultrasound, pressing so nicely on my full bladder!  It took them a minute to load the embryos, he said that it's hard to catch them in the petri dish.  Dr. Morris uses a catheter to transfer the embryos.  It's cool to be able to watch on the screen.  You can't see the embryos, but you can see him safely place them in the uterus.  Praise the Lord, I can potty!  Dr. Bopp had told us you can't pee them out, poop them out, cough them out, or walk them out...which I kept telling myself! 
After relief, it was time to lay flat and let the embryos settle and time to take a selfie!  (That song may be the worst thing I've heard and Sirius kept playing it!!)

Since we had the long drive home, nurse Alison was comfortable letting us go around 10:30.  Dr. Morris doesn't require bed rest, but she said to take it easy if I could.  I really appreciated having a nurse caring for us who had been through this herself and was shared that with us.  We signed our papers and were on our merry little way.

We stopped in Merriville for a little comfort food at Cracker Barrel.  Once we finally made it home, I migrated to the bed with the iPad, my Pretty Little Liars book, and three kitties.

I've taken off this week and next to be able to rest and avoid extra germs.  I'm really so thankful that I have a job where I miss it if I'm out!  (Although it would be different to have a job where you just called in sick and didn't have to get ready for a sub!)  I've gotten pictures of my munchkins, messages from parents, and reports from my staff because they know I worry.  Kitty and I have settled into the couch for most of the day.  Today, we watched some professional development webinars.  I'm taking it easy like a good girl, but I miss my kiddos!  Rocked my blue shirt and blue light today for Autism Awareness, too.  (Joe even rocked a blue shirt for work.)
Now, we just wait.  Our first pregnancy test is on Monday so there's nothing else to do between now and then.  Big Bang Theory, Friends, and Sex and the City provide my comic relief during the day.  Tonight, we switch to the progesterone injections.  It's going to be more uncomfortable, but it's much more affordable than the other progesterone.  We can use prayers as we start injections twice daily!  Pray that it's not too painful and that I don't say mean things to Joe while he does it.
I'm looking forward to church on Saturday.  I watched last weekend's service online.  We have been doing the Transformed series and it has been so relevant and great at this time in life.  I listened to the sermon "From Stressed to Blessed" twice in 24 hours last weekend.
Pray that our little embryos have implanted (at least one) and are settling in so we will have a healthy baby...or babies in nine months.  The anticipation of "the test" is huge and I try not to think about it.  What will be the longest wait is from the time of blood draw to results on Monday.  Just pray for peace as we wait and comfort with the test results.  If the first test result is positive, we continue the progesterone and repeat the blood test.  Updates will come on that later!
Again, words just can't express how thankful we are for the love and prayers!  Keep 'em coming please!!
Love,
Sarah & Joe





Next Stop...Embryo Transfer

Here's a little video that explains IVF in two minutes!

http://youtu.be/HnGQI_rtOzw

Saturday night after church, we ventured north again...I can now navigate us to Dr. Morris' office without Google Maps!  We stayed overnight at PJ's in Crown Point.  Our monitoring appointment was bright and early at 7:30 Sunday morning.  All was looking good, we just had to once again wait to hear back after Dr. Morris reviewed the labs and ultrasound.  Random IVF fact, all these hormones are to stimulate your follicles and produce eggs.  That's all fine and dandy, but it leads to ovaries that feel like the size of Texas!  We spent some time with the family while anxiously awaiting news from the doc.  Cue a sigh of relief  when Nurse Brittany called to give us our directions.  Sunday night was going to be the trigger shot and retrieval would be on Tuesday morning.  The trigger shot is done about 36 hours before the retrieval.  We packed up, picked up the 4 doses of antibiotic I needed, and ventured down 65 again to make it home for the trigger shot.  While I can do shots wherever, Joe was a man on a mission that we could do these at home.  This trigger shot was HCG and Follistim...so a little different than I've done before.  I am so thankful not to have any major side effects from the injections,  just a headache here and there or some cramping compliments of my ginormous ovaries.  I think I blocked out the part about being so lovely and bloated.  Odds are if you see me in the next two weeks, I will be living in yoga pants that have never been to yoga!
Monday night we ventured north again.  Our arrival time was 6:30 on Tuesday morning...oh goodness!  On the bright side, since we had such an early time it involved less time for me to whine about being hungry and thirsty.  We met another Nurse Alison!  I'm a dork, but it made me feel better...that reminder of the familiar!  Alison shared that she had been through IVF as well.  Chit chatting about preschool helped distract my tired nerves. Around 7:30, they wheeled me back.  I remember the anesthesiologist asking me what my favorite cocktail was.  My response was a glass of sweet, red wine...he said it just so happens Dr. Morris has an amazing wine cellar.  That's the last thing I remember! 

There was a sticky note beside the bed with the number 18.  Woohoo!  Of course I still love Peyton even though he's not in Indy anymore.  We had 18 eggs during our first IVF, too.  After the grogginess wore off, we were wheeled out and headed home.  They had given me some medicine for the pain, so the trip home and most of Tuesday are a little blurry.  I slept a lot and missed Bible study. 



Wednesday morning we received our alert that there was a message in Patient Portal.  (Patient Portal is how we receive lab results, instructions, etc.)  We had 11 of the 18 eggs fertilize.  Another step in the right direction.  My prayers have switched from fertilizing to having two of the best embryos ready for a day five transfer.  (So, for my friends that pray specifically for us...please pray for two great embryos to transfer and that at least one will stick and give us a healthy baby!)
My game plan has been to take off from the embryo transfer to the time of pregnancy test from the munchkins (and more specifically their germs).  Getting ready to miss two weeks of preschool is a nice distraction from all the overthinking you can do while hormonal and waiting for the next step!  I'm so thankful that Kathy Baryoh is able to sub for the majority of the time I'm out.  Having someone reliable and trustworthy is just a huge relief!  My staff at preschool is amazing, so I know my little guys will be in great hands.  Being out and planning ahead does increase this ADD girl's focus and organization.  I had lunch with my dear friend Christy.  It means so much to have a friend pray for you, hold your hand, and give you encouragement.
On the way home from Marion yesterday, it hit me...the emotions and anticipation of the wait between transfer and test.  I'd been able to distract myself with school stuff, I hadn't spent much time focusing on the emotional adventure ahead.  It was a little time to drive, be overwhelmed, pray, and listen to some encouraging music.  In one of the sermons for the Transformed series we are doing at church, Pastor Gregg talked about you control your thoughts.  So, I'm really working on not letting myself get too anxious, freaked out, scared, etc.  I'm just focusing on hope and faith!

Today, I've been attempting to be domestic.  Dr. Morris doesn't require bed rest after the transfer, but for my mental health if nothing else I will be taking it easy and propping my feet up for a couple days.  I've managed to wash our sheets and comforter and make some no bake cookies.  It's the little things.
We are overwhelmed with the support and love we receive along our journey.  It means more than you know!  As our family and friends pray for us in the next few days, please pray that we can stay hopeful, calm, and not get caught up in all the what if scenarios or what happened last time thoughts.  Pray that our little embryos will grow and that we will have two perfect blastocyst embryos to transfer and that one or both of those little guys will implant and become a healthy little bambino!
We can always use prayers for safe travels, especially since the snow won't go away.  Our plan is to head north in the morning, spend tomorrow with PJ, and then head home after the transfer.  (Yes, I will probably have the seat leaned back and my feet on the dash)
I'm sure I will update Sunday or Monday! 
Love,
Sarah and Joe

Celebrating one week of shots!

I never leave home without my mustard seed!  Thanks Steph!!

Oh goodness, a lot has been going on and I've been slacking in the update department!  We are smack in the middle of our IVF cycle.  The adventures began on March 12 when my momma braved the early alarm clock and forecast of snow to ride with me for my baseline appointment.  Everyone except for me was slightly concerned about the forecast of snow. Denial is a happy place to be when you have to drive to another state for an appointment...it's a happy place until reality comes falling from the sky.  It took us a little over seven hours to get from my house to Dr. Morris' office.  Oh goodness, we had three close calls and I had several "Sarah Elizabeth" moments.  Thankfully, Dr. Morris' staff was so wonderful to work me in whenever we got there.  We safely arrived in Naperville, got my labs and ultrasound done, got some Follistim, and we were out the door.  Once we were on the road home, we faced sunshine!  Crazy Indiana weather!!  

After hearing that the ultrasound and lab results came back, we received the official green light to start on Saturday the 15th.  Everyone starts hormones in the church bathroom, right?  From the 15th-18th, I had one injection in the evening.  Follistim does what the name implies...stimulates growth of your follicles.  I've been on this before for IUI's and our IVF and always have responded well.  We were due back up north on the 19th for my first monitoring appointment.  Driving was a lot less stressful without the snowfall!  Joe was able to get the day off and rode along.  I was a little bummed that our first monitoring appointment was on this date because the munchkins were going to Farm Fest.  While field trips are stressful and crazy to plan, I was really looking forward to this one.  The joys of IVF, you have no control of your schedule and plan.  I was excited to see all the pictures that my preschool peeps sent me!  I'm so thankful to have a job that I love, awesome munchkins that wear me out, and a whole crew of people that remind me to take care of myself and they have munchkin land covered!!
Back to the appointment, I started off responding well to the medicine.  The nurse had me plan to return on Friday, but nothing is for certain until Dr. Morris reviews the labs and ultrasound.  We were home bound again.  Lesson for this trip was that Google maps doesn't always keep up and reroute fast enough!  It took us a minute to get out of Naperville, but then we were good to go.  We stopped in Merriville for lunch and so we could swap drivers.  Joe needed to catch up on some rest and I needed to be able to control the music selection and stop at Dunkin Donuts.  We got home just in time to do the day's shot except I didn't have my instructions from the doctor yet.  Cue a momentary panic when the directions included a low dose HCG which I hadn't received yet.  Our nurse for the day was so nice to call and let me know not to panic.  Wednesday also started another shot (that I had on hand)...Ganirilex.  This one keeps me from ovulating before I'm ready.  Walgreens was able to overnight the low dose HCG so crisis was averted.
On Thursday, I was back to the land of the little munchkins to hear about the fun field trip!  I really missed out on some fun.  Bless my mom for going to my house for the third day in a row to get medication, unpack it, and stick it in the fridge.  
I was due back to Dr. Morris on Friday and mom agreed to another road trip.  Since we were up and out the door early, we treated ourselves to Concannon's for breakfast.  Yummy!  This trip up north was less crazy and only took 4.5 hours...this country mouse is getting pretty good at driving like a city mouse!  My ultrasound looked good and the nurse thought I might have to come back today.  Scheduled the appointment and made plans to drive up solo so mom wouldn't miss her small group and church.  (My orders that she needed to go!)  On the drive home, getting up at 4:03 caught up with me.  I've been a good girl and not cheated, just having decaf coffee still.  I'm still not certain what was going on but traffic was backed up on 65 so we ventured off course.  Bless my momma again for taking over the driving!  I'm typically a little control freak and always want to drive, but I had to surrender.  When we stopped for a potty break and a fresh beverage, I got my update from the doctor.  New plan, back up on Sunday not Saturday.  I was very thankful for a change in the game plan because it let me stay home and have a lazy day...it is Spring Break after all!  My low dose HCG was increased and the Follistim is decreased.  We are venturing up to PJ's after church tonight to make our 7:30 appointment in the morning.  This girl needs to get her church in to keep sane!  Christi, one of the nurses, said we probably will trigger on Sunday and have the egg retrieval on Tuesday.  That's all tentative until after tomorrow's ultrasound and labs.  
Things are off to a good start, crazy snow trip not included.  We are so thankful for all the love and prayers we receive. 
If you pray for us specifically, here's what we need...
Please pray for our safe travels back and forth between Muncie and Naperville.  Please pray that I continue to respond well and we are able to move ahead with the egg retrieval.  Pray that the egg retrieval goes smoothly and that we have two very healthy embryos to transfer back!  Pray for me to be productive and get everything ready at school for when I will be out!  (My plan is to take off until the pregnancy test just to play it safe and avoid germs)
With Spring Break being this week, I shouldn't be so side tracked that I can't update the blog.  Between here and Facebook, I should have things covered!  Now, I've got to pack up my hormones to take to church.  HCG on ice...don't you take that to church?  There's never a dull moment!
Have a safe and relaxing Spring Break and wonderful week!
Sarah and Joe

3/12/14 Smiling with no clue of what was ahead!

Blessings

Goodness, it's been over a month since I've written and there's stuff to share.  (Hold onto your hat, this may be all over the place)
There's never a dull moment when it comes to infertility treatments and procedures.  Dr. Morris had wanted a saline ultrasound to make sure everything was in prime condition.  After a few mini moments of panic, I called Dr. Bopp to see if he could do the saline ultrasound for me.  (My local OB was out and it's one a doctor has to do)  Bless Dr. Bopp for agreeing to do the ultrasound and Nurse Alison for getting me scheduled on the right day of my cycle.  I must say venturing to Midwest Fertility was a bit comforting.  We made a pit stop at Dunkin Donuts for a decaf coffee and then headed down 31.  There's comfort in the familiar!  Having Dr. Bopp give me a hug, make sure everything was okay, and just be so encouraging really was calming.  The staff at Midwest Fertility is amazing and so caring.  They are excited that we have the chance to do IVF again thanks to Dr. Morris donating the cycle.
My TSH levels came back at .8, so we are good to go there.  I was sure that they would be off because I've been so tired.  Harsh reality, this girl hadn't been caffeine free at preschool...love my munchkins but they wear me out!  I've pondered just showing Dr. Morris a video of life in preschool to see if he would let me have just one caffeinated beverage per day.  I've been good and not given into the temptation, but don't expect me to answer my phone past nine!
One thing that has been a concern was how much the medication would be.  Thanks to one of the Facebook infertility pages, I learned about the First Steps program.  It's an application that you submit to see if you qualify for a discount on your medication.  I hadn't heard back from them since Joe had sent in our application and was getting a little worried.  Being an impatient girl, I sent an e-mail asking about the status of our application.  The next day, I had confirmation that we are eligible for 25% off our medication!!  This is a huge blessing!  While we are amazing blessed that medications are the only out of pocket expense we have,  this still was a huge weight off my shoulders!  Please share this with anyone you know that needs fertility medication! First Steps
At the moment, it's just a waiting game.  The next medication cycle for Dr. Morris will start on the 15th.  We should be good to go, but you never know!  (Ironically, between now and when we start medicine my fertility doctor will have to call in birth control pills!  It's to line up my cycle with his calendar, but it just makes me chuckle that the make a baby doctor calls in birth control)
In the mean time, I'm adjusting to full time teaching again!  This winter has been crazy with delays and cancellations.  I'm trying to get case conferences done and get ahead on lesson plans so that I won't have to worry about that.  I'm really going to miss my kiddos with all these monitoring appointments, but know they are in good hands when I'm not there.  Since I will take off the time between embryo transfer and pregnancy test, I'm excited that we can at least Face Time!  I'm so lucky to love what I do, even if it wears me out and makes me bonkers at times.  (This summer, I will start with Ball State to finish up my early childhood special education license that will keep me where I am!)
We have kicked off a new series at church called Transformed!  I'm super excited about it and the fact that some of the girls at work are doing a small group with me.  At the kick-off dinner at church, I just felt that I needed to step up and suggest a group at school.  We are going to start meeting on Wednesday!  Thankfully, I have a DVD and a guide to go off of.  I'm looking forward to fellowship with my preschool peeps.  I'm a little worried about being able to get homework done for my Tuesday night study and for Transformed.  Jonesy will need to focus!
Joe's keeping busy at the furniture store and hoping to break the motorcycle out soon!  We celebrated our 16th Valentine's Day this year, and I'm pretty sure when we celebrated our first in 1998 he had no clue what the future would hold.  I'm so thankful for a man who loves me all the time and handles my hot mess moments quite well!

We certainly have many praises!  The saline ultrasound was clear, my thyroid levels are fine, and we qualified for a discount on our medication.  (Of course, we can't forget Dr. Morris and the Cade Foundation)
As we move closer to starting our IVF cycle, we just need lots of prayers.  It's a physical and emotional process!  I'm going to need to stay positive and have faith.  Having the prayers, love, and encouragement from our family and friends has gotten us this far and what helps us get through this one!
We hope everyone is staying safe and warm!  (Here's to no more snow)
Lots of love~
Sarah & Joe

In honor of Dr. Seuss' birthday, I leave you with these!

Testing, testing 1-2-3

Since my last rambling, we have made some progress and gotten more information to help us move toward our IVF cycle with Dr. Morris.  Again, I just have to say how blessed and thankful we are for the Cade Foundation and Dr. Morris donating a full IVF cycle to the raffle that we won.  So amazing to think about still!!
Dr. Morris had said in addition to the hysteroscopy, I needed to have some blood work and an ultrasound completed to make sure everything was good to go and to have current levels so he could plan the medication protocol.  January 2, 2014 I had to venture to Ball Hospital for the ultrasound, one year to the day after our miscarriage which did make it a little more emotional.  LabCorp was able to do all the blood work that Dr. Morris ordered, so we were thankful to have things done locally.  Joe was also able to get his testing completed, and then we just had to wait.  Waiting, waiting...one of the joys of fertility treatments.
We received our copies of the lab reports, were told Joe was normal, and the ultrasound looked fine.  Our next step was to schedule another consultation with Dr. Morris to go over all of our tests and work on our game plan.
Given the recent icy/snowy/frigid weather, we weren't too eager to try and plan a trip and risk not being able to get back to work.  One day last week, I had the brilliant idea of scheduling a video consultation instead of making the trip.  They had offered us a video consult before, but we really wanted to go and meet the doctor, see the clinic, and all that jazz.  While I love social media, I hadn't gotten into Google+ before but I was quick to sign up when I found out that was how he would contact us.   (Shout out to my brother #1 who was my guinea pig with Google Hangouts)
I had to call the office and check in before our 5:00 appointment time and then patiently wait for Dr. Morris to call us.  When you're just waiting 15 minutes goes by pretty slowly!  Joe had to work today, so we had our consultation at Walls Furniture.  I'm guessing that's a new one.  ;)  
Dr. Morris was pleased with my labs (FSH, LH, AMH, and thyroid antibodies) and with Joe's labs.  He hadn't received my hysteroscopy report so he had some concerns about the polyps in the images I had sent.  Just to make sure it's all clear, I will call Dr. Darroca and schedule a saline ultrasound for one day next week.  We have the medication lists and are pricing the medicines.  Before I go to school tomorrow, I will stop and get my TSH checked again.  If the ultrasound and TSH check out, we have the green light to move ahead.  Dr. Morris does cycles in groups, one starts February 15 and the next is March 1.  I'm praying that we can get everything figured out and be ready to start March 1, but if we can't start that day we will aim for the next date.  (I've given up on having a set timeline with these things, it happens when it's supposed to happen.  However, I did read a study about higher birthrates on Spring IVF cycles!)
So, it's all good with everything we have done so far!  Woohoo!  For my friends that pray specifically for us, here's a list...

• Pray that my TSH levels are below 2.5 and that the saline ultrasound shows no polyps or anything funky.
• Pray that we get the medication cost and order figured out.  
• Pray for us as we face this again...the physical and emotional aspects of a cycle.
• I know I am going to need all the prayers I can to keep the faith and not be afraid of something going wrong again.  I really have a totally different faith and perspective this time, I've grown a lot, but it is still scary!

We are so blessed with family and friends that support us through all of this!  Thanks for always praying for us, encouraging us, taking time to read my ADD blog entries, and loving us!

Have a wonderful rest of your week!  I'm praying that I get to see my little munchkins.  I miss them!  Stay warm!

Sarah and Joe

January 25 is a special day at the Jones' house!  We celebrate Kitty's unofficial birthday.  He joined our family on January 25, 1999 and is my faithful and cuddly lap cat.  Kitty kept watch when I was on bed rest and caught a few tears through these fertility treatments.