Waiting...

If I paid myself $1 for every time I've reminded myself of this verse over the past week, I'd be rich!  The progesterone shots in the booty may be uncomfortable, but waiting from embryo transfer to the first blood test...it can be painful!  Tomorrow morning we venture up to Dr. Morris for our first blood test.  Please pray for a high HCG, below 5 is negative, we are aiming for above 50.  This will be the first stop, after tomorrow the test will hopefully be repeated every 2-3 days to monitor the HCG number increasing.  Yes, we are driving 4 hours and 40 minutes for one blood test that has the potential to change our lives.  It's worth it.  ;)
I'm thankful that we are covered in prayer.  The past few days have been rough.  While I'm really working on having faith and looking forward, I'm not perfect and have caught myself in the "what if" or "last time we did this..." scenarios in my head.  Thankfully, I've got a couple sermon podcast saved that remind me not to focus on the what if's and to fear not!  We've been doing the Transformed series at church and it has been fabulous and just what I needed right now.  I'm pretty sure I've listened to the one about stressed to blessed a billion times since last weekend!  (Maybe not a billion, but I've lost count!)  I've also got, "Don't Give Up," "Change Your Life by Changing Your Mind," and "How to Deal with How You Feel" that are playing on a loop! 
On Saturday nights, mom and I sit with the same group of people.  It's our little Saturday night family.  Last night, two of the ladies prayed over me and it was just what I needed.  I'd been teetering on the hot mess wagon off and on, and having some faithful friends pray over me gave me the peace I was in major need of!  Well, today I hopped back on the hot mess wagon in full force.  Joe loves hashbrown casserole, I don't so when I make that for him I make chicken and noodles for me.  Off to Marsh after lunch (and two hours for a dumb oil change at stupid Walmart) to get groceries to be a good little woman and cook dinner.  My ADD self often forgets things, add some hormones and anticipation...it was bound to happen that I would forget a minor ingredient for hash brown casserole.  Yup, I forgot the hash browns.  As soon as I park the car, a major meltdown erupts.  I told Joe I don't want to go to the doctor tomorrow, he told me to take a nap!  (He really has amazing patience with me)  Being the good guy he is, I curled up in the recliner while he ventured back out for hashbrowns.  Just another day on the emotional roller coaster of infertility! 
Please pray for our safe travels tomorrow.  We are praying for a positive pregnancy test that leads us to a healthy baby.  I'm going to need a lot of prayers in focusing on the future and not "what happened last time."  Joe could use some extra prayers as he has to not only wait for the results, but deal with the hormonal mess that is me!  I'm planning on updating tomorrow night, but make no promises.  Regardless of what happens, tomorrow is going to be an emotional day! 
Thanks for the love and prayers!
Sarah and Joe